pop culture geekery

10 Best Appearances by Real Bands in a Movie

2011-11-06T02:58:00.015+08:00

As part of the 2011 Halloween fare Cinemax served up in the month of October, the 1999 horror comedy, Idle Hands, came into rotation. In case you haven't seen it, you need only know three things about it - the first, it was the death knell of Devon Sawa's film career which didn't make it past Y2K (Final Destination being the nail on that coffin); the second, it features a young Jessica Alba showcasing her entire acting range - a sexy sultry wooden log - which she continues to pass of as talent till this day; and the third, Seth Green, being a stoner, which everybody knows is the best kind of Seth Green available on film. Here's the Wiki, if it piqued your interest.

The film's climax, which in horror movie speak, is when shit has just been launched, is now hacking away at everything in sight and is T-minus 5 seconds away from the fan, revolves around a prom scene with the obligatory band. Cool because prom scene climaxes are such a relic of the '90s teen movie genre and also because the band doing a cover of the The Ramones, 'I Wanna Be Sedated' was none other than The Offspring. Cue metal gears creakily spinning in head and consequently, this list. In the interest of keeping this list to just band cameos in a movie, all things The Beatles-related, Detroit Rock City and Tenacious D and the The Pick of Destiny were not included. Behold, the 10 best appearances by real bands in a movie that wasn't build around them!

1. The Offspring - Idle Hands (1999)

As mentioned above, The Offspring appear in the movie. What I failed to mention was what happens to Dexter Holland when the 'idle hand' gets busy. SPOILER ALERT: You might lose your head after viewing the clip.

2. Save Ferris and Letters to Cleo - 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

Yes, Letters to Cleo was instrumental in the soundtrack for 10 Things I Hate About You. But let's not forget that Save Ferris was also in the movie. The above YouTube video was the only one I could find of them, but every 90's teen movie prom needs a live band, and Save Ferris was this film's.

3. Gwar - Empire Records (1995)

What do you do when you have a hallucinogenic day dream of being the main course on your favourite thrash metal band's plate? As Mark/c demonstrated in Empire Records, just keep on keeping on and bite off another piece of that special cake.

4. Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Clueless (1995)

As you might have noticed, the 1990s were a banner decade for band's appearing in films, ska punk bands, in particular. Probably because that was the genre's heyday. (Don't act so outraged fanboys, even No Doubt knows the truth and have moved on). While The Mighty Mighty Bosstones wasn't part of a prom scene in Clueless, it still led to the delivery of a brilliant payload - Paul Rudd dancing.

5. Reel Big Fish - BASEketball (1998)

See above statement and apply tenfold before the year 2000 swings about. Reel Big Fish in particular is a perfect fit for this movie which stars Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the masterminds behind South Park (fun fact). It's ridiculous levels of fun that gets you insane in the membrane.

And on that Cypress Hill note, we leave the '90s and move ahead to the 'Naughties and beyond.

6. Smash Mouth - Rat Race (2001)

Just before Shrek cannibalized Smash Mouth's 'All Star' down to its bare marrow and the world collectively sipped on the haterade, the song made a lovely soundtrack to Mystery Men and Rat Race. The former, an underrated comedy which the original music video featured snippets out of; and in the latter, a finale with much endearing goofiness, as was the running theme throughout the film. Fun fact: Seth Green plays a greedy asshole, which as you know is the best kind of Seth Green available on film.

7. Coldplay - Shaun of the Dead (2004)

While Coldplay did not actually perform in Shaun of the Dead, their little bit in the end news footage round-up was another gold star in a movie that is a nerd's wet dream. The movie came out at a time when Live Aid was the band's pet project, so to have them satirize that with Zomb Aid, is charmingly self-effacing. For full effect and to see Chris Martin hide behind his knees in a gigglefest, watch the full skit here.

8. Fall Out Boy - Sex Drive (2008)

Back in 1999, American Pie featured a blink-or-you'll-miss-them moment with Blink 182. It was a microsecond where Mark, Tom and Travis were one of the crowd viewing the Internet clip of Jason Biggs doing the strip dance. Many years later, in the same vein of teen R-rated comedies, Sex Drive featured an appearance by Fall Out Boy. The 2008 offering wasn't as good as the 1999 one, both in plot and musical guest stars, to use the term loosely. But Sex Drive had Seth Green, playing a sarcastic Amish, which as you might have guessed, is the best kind of Seth Green available on screen.

9. Rush - I Love You, Man (2009)

Perhaps it's the holdover from Jason Segel's role in the phenomenal TV series Freaks and Geeks but watching Rush-obsessed Nick Andopolis geek out to the band tugs at the heartstrings. Also, more Paul Rudd dance moves and much slapping of da [sic] bass.

10. Daft Punk - Tron: Legacy (2010)

While it might not be fair to include Daft Punk in this list given that they were responsible for the entire Tron: Legacy soundtrack, there's no better example of the perfect meeting between movie and music when news came out of the band's involvement. That scene where Michael Sheen's Castor gives a head nod to the helmet-wearing robot-suited French duo - nothing but spine-tingling chills and mind-plosion fanboy squeals. It may have dampered as the movie plodded on, but hey, that's why we have the soundtrack to relive the magical moment.

Five Reasons Why You Should Watch Priest

2011-05-13T01:13:00.000+08:00

Yes, this movie. No, it's not Legion. Yes, it has the same director and the same lead actor. Yes, it's cheese-tastic. And yes, these are indeed five legit reasons why you should go watch Priest at your local cinema this weekend.

Reason #5
I didn't think it possible, but Cam Gigandet's shirt stays on throughout the movie, quite possibly the first in his entire oeuvre (and yes, for shame, I've seen almost all of it). Given how he tends to lose his shirt mid-way in most of his movies, if ever he even had one from the start, Priest is quite the novelty watch. How often do you hear one say, "Wow, did you see Cam Gigandet with his shirt on?"

Reason #4
All you need to know about the movie is laid out in the pre-released movie posters below. Almost as if the marketing execs went, "yeah, so the plot isn't rocket science but let's simplify it further. AND STRESS REAL HARD THAT PAUL BETTANY IS NOT AN ANGEL THIS TIME AROUND."

Now that crucial information like plot, names and character arcs needn't be fussed with anymore, we, the audience, can now proceed to play the Priest drinking game. The rules are as follows; down one shot of alcohol of choice every time you see each character doing an action from the poster.

- The Priest (Paul Bettany) gazing grimly to the camera
- The Priestess' (Maggie Q) hard nipples that give Rachel Green's famed peaks a run for her money
- The Sheriff (Cam Gigandet) pointing his gun just to the side of the camera
- Lucy the Kidnapped (Lily Collins) on the brink of shedding tears
- Black Hat (Karl Urban) baring his fangs
- Vampires treating humans like paper, they of course being the terror-inspiring paper shredders.

With this Priest drinking game, you'll have nothing short of a real treat at the movie. You can even enjoy the 3D-effects post-movie, when the projectile vomiting starts!

Reason #3
In case you missed the wall of text above, here is reason number #3 recapped and in bold for the TL;DR folk on why Priest is a must-watch movie; "The Priestess' (Maggie Q) hard nipples that give Rachel Green's famed peaks a run for her money". Sadly, that particular brand of magic missed the 3D-conversion mark.

Reason #2
Paul Bettany. Even with a ridiculous 't' on his forehead, Paul Bettany remains a GQMF. Pictorial evidence below.

Reason #1
This Friday marks the sole Friday the 13th we'll enjoy on this year's calendar. Are you really going to spend the day watching mindless fluff like Something Borrowed? Respect the day. Choose theme-appropriate mindless fluff. Choose Priest.

For Your Consideration: 5 Hollywood Pairings Who Should Be Together in Real Life

2011-02-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

On the back of watching Love and Other Drugs yesterday night, I came to a conclusion. I did not love the movie; no, it was rather like dealing with an Alzheimer's patient - during its lucid moments, it was witty, clever and playful, a joy to watch as the plot and character unraveled. But then the sickness would flip and the bad moments would start - the trite dialogue and the tired rom-com formulaic shtick, leaving you with your shaking head in your hands thinking, "this isn't what I signed up for". Anyway, this entire analogy, which I thought was rather apt, given the storyline of the film and the emphasis on sickness and drugs (but hey, nobody likes the self-fellating asshole) brings me to my point. I cannot love the movie, but that probably won't stop me from re-watching it further down the line, on TV, download or wherever else it might be played.

Love and Other Drugs; Come for the hot nekkid Hathaway and Gyllenhaal, stay for (not) exactly that

Because for all it's missteps and trying bits, Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway are brilliant to watch in Love and Other Drugs. It's more than just good acting skills. The two share a tangible chemistry that pulsates off the screen and worms its way into the blackest of hearts to make you want to believe that if all was good and perfect in this world, the two actors would actually be together in real life. The media circus the two have been on promoting the show have only seem to reinforce this belief so it's a bitter pill to take that Hathaway is dating some guy named Adam Schulman and Gyllenhaal, Taylor McSquinty. But hey, a girl can hope, right? (Plus, if all else fails, I'm sure there's always creep-tastic fanfiction to fall back upon). So on the back of Valentine's Day, here are other Hollywood pairings in recent history I wish were really madly in love with each other in reality.

5. James Franco and Anne Hathaway, Hosts of the 2011 Academy Awards

4. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

3. John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer, The Office

2. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, (500) Days of Summer

1. Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights

As an added bonus, here be fictional couples who did cross the reel/real boundary and were perfect together in the whirlwind streak of romance that much like a comet's run, simply could not last. R.I.P fictional-turned-real-lovers. My heart mourns for the love lost.

my face, effectively, when pondering on these ex-couples

3. Michael Vartan and Jennifer Garner, Alias

2. Ryan Philippe and Reese Witherspoon, Cruel Intentions

1. Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, The Notebook (I've still not completely recovered)

And since Tumblr is the new dumpsite of the Internet where the wild and wacky subsist, here's Fuck Yeah, Real Life Pairings for extra couply, totally non-stalkery [sarcasm font] goodness!

Dead On Arrival: The Beautiful Life

2009-09-27T02:32:00.005+08:00

Regardless of whatever minuscule sense of forced enthusiasm I may have had upon first hearing about the show, The Beautiful Life had some promise. It was bad, no doubts about that. On a scale of nastiness, I think it equates to two day old pizza; close to putridity but not totally impossible to fill up on.

Mischa Barton has my empathy when we're talking about whatever personal issues she may be facing but god does she need a 4 year degree + masters at whatever school of acting. I couldn't decide which was worse, the lines shifted from awkward to corny in nanoseconds. But possibly worse were the jerky camera shots that panned at inopportune moments and seemed to be handled by a 5 year old in an epileptic fit.

But. And I suppose a lot of people might disagree with this but the premise was quite interesting. The modeling world as a whole comes across as pretty superficial and despite what was said in Bruno, I find modeling to be a hard job - cracking that market is close to impossible. For every Elle Macpherson is a thousand other wannabe models left in the pages of mail-order catalogs or relegated to a 15 minute role in any one of the Top Model franchises or worse. And I know that the title refers to 'the beautiful people', a term commonly attached to models but do you have to make the non-models so friggin' unattractive?

We get it. We really do.

The set up actually seemed to pave to possibly complex; underage models who become the 'next big thing', the behind the scene drugs, the pay inequality between male and female models, models with dying careers, a spotted potential from the streets, a shamed model possibly past her prime. And all that was just in the premiere episode. Given the right treatment, it would have made quite a good look into the industry and possibly shed some light on what it's like behind the glitz and glamour of being a fashion model.

Given the limitations of network TV, I suppose whatever shown would have been a sanitized version far from the actual truth anyway. But it's too bad we won't ever be able to find out and make a valid judgment.

Given my mixed feelings about the show, I will confess that I'm quite gutted by the axing of the show.

Goodbye, Chris Andrews, you Matt Saracen type of hunky country folk. I solemnly promise to keep a look out for you in other stuff, Benjamin Hollingsworth.

If there's anything to take away from this show is this: I was so right about the eerie Sara Paxton/Mischa Barton resemblance! I first noticed the resemblance in The Last House on the Left remake where I spent my face hiding in my hands at the squeamish bits while marveling over the almost doppelganger-ness of the two.

They both share a round face, light blue eyes and the chin-butt dimple, no?

Okay, maybe Mischa doesn't have the dimple but I swear watching them in The Beautiful Life is so trippy cause after that eureka realization, I always figured they'd eventually be cast as sisters or family. Turns out rival models will do for the CW.

Legendary TV: The Office (UK)

2009-08-14T02:18:00.011+08:00

I initially intended to do a 'Versus' post between the UK and US editions of The Office. But truth of the matter is I like them separately and it would be unfair to compare the two seeing as right now, all they seem to share is the premise of 'zany things happen at the office'. And even that single truth doesn't always hold true in the case of The Office (US). So in a series of posts updated very sporadically, but really quite possibly never again, I will dissect my favourite television series(es) of all time. For the interest of this one YouTube video that I want to share, I'll start with The Office (UK). Mild spoilers ahead, mind you.

No matter what shit pile movie Ricky Gervais ends up in, odds are, I have an obligation to watch. This is after all one half of the duo who produced one of the best comedies on TV of all time. This is mothereffin' David Brent we're talking about.

- quite possibly one of the most genuine asshats portrayed on TV ever.

If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain - do you know which philosopher said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.

- singer of Freelove Freeway - a tune that I occasionally find myself humming out of nowhere.

- ruiner of Simply Red's 'If You Don't Love Me By Now'. Frankly everytime this song comes on I just end up in giggles.

- and it has to be mentioned, the charity dance. Such bizarre choreography and body spasms has yet to be recreated anywhere else and at such a magnitude of epicness.

But The Office was more than the exploits of one unstoppable boss. It was a solid team effort through and through. The cast comprising of office suck-up, Gareth, lovelorn salesman Tim, his object of affection, engaged secretary Dawn were the precious notes that added to the beautiful orchestra that was the show. Steven Merchant (Oggy, Oggy, Oggy!) and Ricky Gervais wrote a script that brilliantly captured the inanity of working life.

David Brent: Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.

Tim: The people you work with are people you were just thrown together with. I mean, you don't know them, it wasn't your choice. And yet you spend more time with them than you do your friends or your family. But probably all you have in common is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet for eight hours a day.

David Brent: You just have to accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

There was such incredible amounts of heart in this film, especially in the way the Tim and Dawn romance panned out. Although their screen time together is limited to flirtatious banter and messing with Gareth, we intuitively know that they're just simply meant for each other. Dawn's fiance, Lee, never comes across as overtly terrible - he isn't quite simplistically Hollywood-bad for her.

Dawn (on how Lee proposed): He proposed on a Valentine's day, although he didn't do it face to face, he did it in one of the little Valentine bits in the paper. I think he had to pay for it by the word, because it just said 'Lee love Dawn, marriage?' which you know, I like, because it's not often you get to something that's both romantic and thrifty.

He does care for her in his own way but they just don't get each other. Not the way Tim and Dawn do. Especially given the slow-burning chemistry behind Tim and Dawn (Tawn? Dawm? Dim?). Theirs was never a quick-flash summer style romance. Instead it was a kindling fire, well tended to with the direction of Merchant and Gervais.

The funniest thing about Gareth Keenan is that I used to know a guy who was exactly just like him. Overly eager to impress, excruciatingly pedantic about all things unnecessary and unaware of his unpleasantness, Gareth, and the guy I knew, is a total headcase. Yet when played against the dullness of a paper office and filled with the normalcy of co-workers, Gareth became perfect comedic fuel. The Office (UK) applies the words of Arnold Beisser, to great effect.

"Tragedy and comedy are but two aspects of what is real, and whether we see the tragic or the humorous is a matter of perspective"

Wernham Hogg is a fucking tragic place to be at, more so if one has to spend eight hours there a day, five days in a week. But it's by highlighting the tragic that the comedy appears.

Tim: No I don't talk about my love life for a very good reason, and that reason is I don't have one. Which is very good news for the ladies-I am still available. I'm a heck of a catch, cos, er well look at it. I live in Slough, in a lovely house, with my parents. I have my own room, which I've had since yep, since I was born. That's seen a lot of action I tell you. Mainly dusting. I went to university for a year as well, before I dropped out, so I'm a quitter. So, er, form an orderly queue ladies.

And of course let's not forget the other office oddballs. Keith in particular, I'm very fond of. The drollness of this guy, who we know is a 'lifer' at Wernham Hogg, is just portrayed to utter perfection. As a whole, I think the entire cast performed far better than I could have comprehended. But for such a small role, Keith sure stole the limelight whenever he was near the fringes of the light.

When I first watched the Christmas special, I just about lost it in the last half hour. That was hands down one of the best series ending ever. To see such a well-loved show go out on a high, 'tis one of the most purest forms of joy TV can bring you. I shall forever be indebted to Steven Merchant (who I have been nursing a crush on since I first saw the series in '05) and Ricky Gervais for coming up this slice of perfection. As David Brent would say, I just want to be remembered "Simply, as, the man who put a smile on the face of all who he met." These guys, best writing partners ever by the way, have truly done that. Their podcast with Karl Pilkington and Extras has continued to give me the chuckles long after the dust of The Office has settled.

And the best part is; they're back for more!

I have been waiting to post this up since midday when I first read about it via ONTD and am willing to forgo sleep to share the news. Right now my nipples could glass. I am just that excited.

31/08/09: All 5 videos from ONTD available over here. <3 Stephen Merchant and Ricky Gervais

Squee(!!)-dom Town, party of one

2009-08-09T23:06:00.008+08:00

Screw the G.I. Joes, Wolverines and Green Lanterns of the world, I want my 500 Days of Summer right here, right now!

Being in a country that mostly neglects the independent for the commercial hits, I am fairly sure that 'tis a no-no for the Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, Marc Webb-helmed flick of the honest-to-goodness trials and tribulations that being in love can bring, at least any time in the conceivable future. But since there was the curiosity of Rian Johnson's The Brothers Bloom being screened here, I hold out hope for the impossible. With the buzz that 500 Days and the solid earnings its been getting, who knows?

In the meanwhile, here's some adorable and I mean, truly adorable videos of the two to tide the want over:

As Sid and Nancy, of Sid and Nancy fame.

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-US&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;vid=5db01b36-af64-41f0-91b8-ef86e818f69b" target="_new" title="Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt Cinemash &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;Sid and Nancy&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Video: Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt Cinemash &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;Sid and Nancy&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;
via Cinemash

And them again starring in a video clip for one of my favourite She & Him songs, 'Why Do You Let Me Stay Here'. Your ovaries will flow, ladies. Floods of estrogen that only insane levels of Squee(!!)-ness can produce will engulf your frame. Gents, beware. A tear might even be shed over the realization of the unattainability of Miss Deschanel (this mostly means you, Nick).

via Pajiba (where else?)

You simply must yield to this cuteness overload.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey commands thee.

What's this?! A beat in my shriveled black heart?

2009-07-26T23:28:00.004+08:00

For the most part, I abhor romantic comedies. I do not particularly enjoy sweetness and saccharine shoved down my orifices, thank you very much. Doubly so if it involves marriage. Never having been to a ceremony myself (my friends, this is a hint), I cannot say I understand just how taxing preparing for the day might be itself. If Hollywood and Bride Wars taught me anything, is that thereotically, a ceremony is hard work. Picking presents, showers, hen's and buck's night, the dress, bridesmaid, catering - it all adds up, and the fun, just simply isn't quite there anymore.

I've always figured that if I should get married, I'd do the right thing and elope. Why force your best friends into wearing dresses they don't particularly like or sit through hours long dinner just because they had the due misfortune of working with you? And well, when the divorce happens, I wouldn't need to face the embarrassment of all those too bad, so sad, but I totally called it! smug faces since everyone knows that's too be expected with quickie, unconventional marriages.

But this. CNN called out the irony of using Chris Brown's 'Forever', but you know what? Damn the man. It is a damn catchy song and while they could have probably used the old classics like Dean Martin's 'Love', well, it would have been that much more trite. Plus, you know that red head from 0:32 to 0:44 wouldn't have been able to bust out those sweet dance skills he's been frontin' since the MC Hammer Pants era had it been any other song.

I hope against hope that Jill and Kevin fall on the 'stay together' side of the 50%. It brings tears to the eyes and hope to the heart to see real magic on a day raped time and time again by the Hollywood machine.

Now, my only question is, when will this be incorporated into a movie? And even better, why didn't any writer think this up in the first place?

For Your Consideration: Magical Education

2009-07-09T02:12:00.002+08:00

For the most part, the basic magic education that Harry, Ron and Hermione go through in Hogwarts consists of the following subjects:- Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, Potions and Herbology. Sure, there is a smattering of a few other subjects such as Care of Magical Creatures, Divinity, Arithmancy and so on.

Given this, wouldn't the logical conclusion be that Wizards and Witches from Hogwarts are unable to do Math??

I find this very disturbing. Since, it seems, wizards and witches only attend school beginning at age 11, it wouldn't be a stretch to suggest that they don't know simple algebra. Do they know how to compute something like 4 multiplied by 25? Say, if a customer comes into their shop and chooses to buy 5 Broomsticks or whatever at 85 galleons each, and receives 325 galleons from the customer, would the shopkeeper know that the customer is short by 100 galleons?

There doesn't seem to be a spell revealed just yet on how algebra and/or arithmetic is performed. Granted, there probably is not a real need for advanced stuff like Linear Algebra or Real Analysis, but some simple calculus might be worthwhile too. I mean, there are businesses in the wizarding world and businesses need some form of business model; most business models employ the use of calculus in their optimization process.

It boggles the mind, really. And sure, there are other really useful subjects that the magical world seems to forget. Languages, for example. Even basic Geography. I'd be surprised if a Wizard could point out where New Zealand is, assuming even basic general knowledge.

So, there you have it. Is the wizarding world really full of wizards and witches who, however powerful their wand work, are inept at even basic Mathematics? This really is a dark and difficult time.

The Movie Kakis Stamp of Epic Summer Movie Fail: Transformers 2

2009-07-01T02:47:00.006+08:00

(guys we need a stamp.. of the Pedobear stamp of approval kind)

You know a movie is bad when you make killer robots idolized by young and old folk both far and wide, into naggy, whiny, and not to sound like a complete teenager but really lame androids devoid of personality or any instance of coolness. Okay, so there were some personality involved. But good heavens, have we not learned from the School of Me-sa Jar Jar Episode 1 Disaster? Racial stereotypes were never funny and will never be funny. If simple comedians with a twenty minute set list can't get away with racially biased jokes, how can a full length 2 hours and 20 minutes movie hope to?

Across the board, as Ad would put it, "big massive clubbed thumbs down" from all of us. For what it is worth, this is my summary, as demonstrated in Paint.

Since I'm a born optimist, I will say that the one good thing that came out from this show is that Nick, the token Y chromosome chapter of the group finally came around to recognizing Megan Fox's blatant unhotness:

"Dude, she's kinda plastic".

Never has there been sweeter words spoken in the face of abominable epic robot fail.

Review: The Brothers Bloom

2009-06-09T01:37:00.012+08:00

If there was one important thing to take away from movies in year 2007 was the arrival of one Rian Johnson. He crashed into the scene with a rocket launcher in the form of Brick and it was hard to ignore the tour-de-force that was that film. He breathed new life and boundless energy into a normal whodunnit film and twisted and melded movie genres into this crossfire of intrigue and impossible coolness. Brick was a highly unusual film in that regardless of the conceit, the film was always grounded in the characters. The stylized dialogue may have been hard to take at first, but eventually it washes over you as you focus on the heart of the story that was Brendan's/Joseph Gordon-Levitt struggle with uncovering the truth. Every hit that he took, all the blood that he shed, the confusion and the loneliness that was Brendan's world - we felt it right there with him. It was a holy trinity of amazing direction, casting and writing. So, how do you top such an amazing first go?

Like this:
Well, apparently if you are Rian Johnson, you simply pull out more of that magic stuff from your bag of tricks and spin another tale of intrigue and impossible coolness. Again, much like his debut film, The Brothers Bloom relies on a certain conceit - the hyperreality of a world of con men. Unlike say, Matchstick Men or the Ocean's trilogy, the story's setting, rather exotic actually - Montenegro, Prague, New Jersey, among others, is merely a tool to deliver some of the best written characters in recent film. It could have been set anywhere. So long as we had these characters, it still would have been magic.

Mark Ruffalo's Stephen and Adrien Brody's Bloom are two brothers who make a living out of being con men. Stephen is to put it simply, the brains behind the operations. He calculates and plans the action almost as if he were a playwright constructing little plays where the lead is his brother. This perfectly ties in with his role as the elder of the two, where he guides and protects Bloom through his schemes. Bloom, on the other hand, is the reluctant actor who regardless of his personal disinterest, finds himself following the whims and fancies of Stephen. Even though he hates the job, he loves his brother, and that is always his sole motivation for going along with the con. Together with a silent sidekick, Bang Bang (Rinko Kinkuchi), the boys decide to pull their last con on a rich eccentric lonely woman, Penelope (Rachel Weisz). Bloom ends up falling in love with Penelope which jeopardizes the entire con, but before you expect a Kodak moment-type ending, Johnson throws a monkey wrench into the works.

In the age of recycled story ideas and cliched creations, Johnson's movie is like a tall drink of cold water in the burning desert. Hollywood is suffering from a derth of original ideas. Unless Charlie Kaufman, Michel Gondry or Wes Anderson writes something new, it is a backwash of unnecessary sequels, remakes and immaterial productions. Therefore, it is beyond refreshing to find this nugget of a film. Infact, it is this type of rare original film that makes me keep going back for more regardless of the countless turds that I consume (then bitch about) from the Hollywood factory. It's two for two for Mr. Johnson. And for that I commend you.

The casting in this film is impeccable. In fact, the film cannot be if one of the actors were taken out of the equation. The playful and unwielding brotherly affection between Stephen and Bloom is nicely contrasted with the sweet romance simmering between Bloom and Penelope. The central focus of this film is, of course, Bloom and Penelope. Both are characters who have lived a forced-life that they never wanted. So when they eventually fall in love and discover one another, it is a highly delightful visual feast. The chemistry between Brody and Weisz is so believable that I cannot help but smile with glee as their story unfolds. From their very first awkward meeting to their first kiss, as they learn to love and be loved amongst the artifice, there really are no words left but, 'Awwwwww.'

But while all the characters were solid, the story wouldn't quite sell so well if not for the authenticity of the rich eccentric lonely woman. Quirkiness is a difficult thing to balance. Too much and it becomes Phoebe Buffet in Friends. Not enough and it becomes a, "Oh my god. So random" passing character. Rachel Weisz completely owned this. Her underlying eagerness and charm grounded what could have been an overly fantastical movie. Penelope's enthusiasm adds a depth of sweetness to what is essentially a story about cons and lies. Where there is the conned, there is also the con men. Adrien Brody is so effective at portraying the younger brother who is slowly unveiling his own truth at every turn. The way his cynicism washes off in the presence of Penelope, is enough to make my cold black heart bleed for more. And that I do. Rian Johnson is undoubtedly one of the most exciting new writer/director on the block. I can't wait to see what else he comes up with. Statistically speaking, it looks to be perfection.

---

I still don't quite understand how this movie ended up screening in Malaysia. More so because it received a general release as opposed to a more probable arthouse limited release. And especially in light of the school holidays where the public has been deluged with nothing but animated films and Disney-friendly fare. I wasn't around here to know if Brick ever received screening over here. But I dare not question the logic for I am so glad that TGV Cinemas decided to bring it over. This gives me hope that I'll be able to catch Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and 500 Days of Summer eventually. The proper (and legal) way, that is.

Twi-freaks

2009-06-04T08:19:00.003+08:00

As a follow up to Karen's "Dissecting Trailers" post, I thought I'd post this video because it's just so lol-worthy.

There's plenty more where that came from...

Honestly, the Twilight brouhaha still evades me. I didn't read the book (and never intend to) but I did watch that cheese ball of a movie when it came out. I feel sad for the tweens of the 2000s who will grow up with this in their generational legacy - the vampire who dazzles.

Stephenie Meyer be damned!

Dissecting trailers: When whatever sense of awe you felt while watching the trailer is decimated by the shitfest that was the actual film//Wolverine

2009-05-06T02:26:00.021+08:00

As a constant movie-goer (despite the inactivity on this page, I do still watch the films rather religiously), you get used to the sneaky tricks of the movie execs when it comes to movie trailers. Movie trailers are essentially carefully edited sound bytes and clips, carefully constructed to give a taste of the milk to the audience without giving away the entire cow. All trailers, that's right, every single last one of 'em, can be broken down into these three categories:

1) The ones which incite a Happy-plosion in your pants
Usually reserved for the summer flicks or films which come with a ton of fan-fare.

These trailers capture the complete essence of the movie in 2 minutes and change and it metaphorically shoots a liter full of adrenaline into your system making your pupils dilate an inch wider, your heart pump just that much faster and your saliva glands to go into overdrive. But you don't need any further convincing since you've already bought your tickets, like, two months ago. Simply put, these trailers are the celluloid version of ecstacy. You watch it and you can't help but get high and want more.

See: X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Harry Potter #6, Watchmen, Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, films featuring Jason Statham.

2) The 'Been There, Done That' ones which attempt to promise you something more but is really the same thing wrapped up in different coloured paper
Usually encapsulates the bulk of these genre films: holiday movies, romantic comedies, horror movies, films by Michael Bay or the Judd Apatow clan and films which feature Will Ferrell.

South Park explained these kind of trailers best in this season 6 gem:

You basically go in to watch this movies because familiarity breeds security. Comparable to McDonald's, there will be no unexpected plot twists over here, just more of that magic juice you know and want.

See: Any movie with Matthew McConaughey - even more so if it also features Kate Hudson, or movies directed by Uwe Boll (in that you know it's going to create new levels of suck)

3) The rare ones that unexpectedly grab your attention and make you hunt it down at all cost
Usually reserved for the foreign flicks, most independent flicks, or commercial films that truly intrigue the movie-goer, which is very rare in this day and age.

Now this third section of trailers is a big reason why even the most jaded movie-goer, scarred by brainless action films and neanderthal comedies, continue to brave the hallowed halls of the cinema. These trailers are not like the first, where it condenses everything and shoves it all up in your face in flashing lights and cut-rate editing. With the former, you don't have a choice but to sit there wide-eyed and slack-jawed as the movie execs spoon feed you every last drop from the magic drug. With this kind of trailer instead, it's a slow-burning kindling where something about the trailer gets under your skin - be it the music, the actors, the plot, the presentation of it all - and it manifests with continued viewings until the passion bursts forth into full-blown yearning. You watch it not because the movie folks tell you you should, but because you just really want to.

See: Brick, Cloverfield, Shaun of the Dead, Sunshine, Stranger than Fiction, My Summer of Love, The Reader.

There's no better high in the movie world then when a film totally and irrevocably delivers every bit of awesomeness as promised in the trailer. Such viewing treats like 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' or 'Crank' is made that much more awesome because even though you knew some parts were coming, there was more from where that came from. The good parts weren't solely contained in the trailer and there were hidden goodness in the film. You walk out of the theater thinking, "Oh yeah. Totally worth that 11 bucks I spent!"

On the other hand, some movies are so generic and terrible that watching that two and a half minutes of footage sixty times is actually better than sitting though the 120 minutes of film time. All that stuff you were cracking up over in the trailer are now being groaned about.You can't help but feel cheated and embittered after realizing that you were basically conned into going into this movie that sucked massive shuddering balls.

Wolverine and Watchmen, I'm looking at you. In fact I'll give Watchmen a pass, since I was never really as into it as I was with the former. But oh, Wolverine, how you shat over my psych-itude and rubbed it in the turgid waters of cheesiness and predictability. At long last you promised a perfectly cast Gambit, but delivered about 7 minutes of screen time. You turned my snarling, raging anti-hero into a love-sick puppy with retractable claws. Before any nuance of real emotion can be properly conveyed, messy inane CGI-effect destroyed the atmosphere. The remaining boner that was stifled in my pants from viewing the trailer slowly deflated as the movie progressed. Nay. My proverbial penis actually retracted inch-by-inch into my body at the unghastly sight of my Wolverine being annihilated. Not cool, dudes. Just not cool.

Quick-view: Where when you have nothing nice to say, you just point out your observations and other stuff

2008-12-21T01:09:00.005+08:00

Not relevant spoilers to the plot ahead.

The Day The Earth Stood Still

Where in all the hot guys bar John Cleese dies. Yeah, I didn't know John Cleese was in this movie either. Although one has to wonder, for a movie that preaches what it preaches, why is practically every car featured a gas guzzler?

Yes Man

As impractical, implausible and impossible this movie is, it's still fairly entertaining. Especially more so because of this scene:

Helps if you really like or know about music from the '90s.

Versus: Harry Potter and Twilight Redux - The Dark Knight edition

2008-12-04T03:07:00.005+08:00

Ultimate final tally
Frankly, I can read this a zillion times and it still would be more amusing than sitting through one viewing of Twilight, the movie. Although due credit must be given to the dazzle effect. Way more LULzy than I ever imagined.

As seen on ONTD and Twatlight.

Just 'cause: People who have 'J' names that end with Krasinski and Bateman are awesome

2008-11-26T02:10:00.005+08:00

More pictures of BFF-reenaction at the source.

Versus: Harry Potter and Twilight

2008-11-24T03:11:00.005+08:00

Harry Potter being the series following our intrepid boy wizard and his shenanigans at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,

and

Twilight being the series about young love and the supernatural and how the two make for a really LOL-worthy combination.

---

It's really quite hard to avoid the whole shebang regarding Harry Potter and Twilight if you've lived on Planet Earth, Milky Way galaxy, the Solar System since early 2000. The two are undoubtedly the biggest non-Disney teen franchises in modern day history with their fanbase ranging from the cute 9 year old to the scarily obsessed adult, and boy, let me tell you Twilight sure have a lot of Twi-tards going on in this section of the demographic.

Of course since they're both aimed at teens and have plots revolving around the supernatural, they were bound to draw comparisons from the public. The angst of teenage life is chronicled well and thoroughly (if not focused on completely separate and differentiating parts) and there is a fair amount of suspense and intrigue going on in both books. However because humans like to nit pick, and I being but a simple human, cannot help but jump on the bandwagon and compare and contrast the hell out of both books.

Initially I had a long-ass list written out, covering many different facets, such as the epilogue in Midnight Sun and Deathly Hollows - which one was more cringe-inducing (Midnight Sun), the characters: Harry vs Edward - who do you want to backhand more (Edward), the love story: Harry&Ginny vs Edward&Bella - which was more epic (the fat kid and his chocolate cake)... you get the picture. But then I realize that sure, I could write a 3000 word essay on the topic and hurt your eyes with no paragraph breaks. But why do that when I have this lying around and it explains everything I feel about the books?

Final tally
Twilight, youse got served.

For Your Consideration: 25 people who makes me feel pathetic at 21.

2008-11-18T00:33:00.008+08:00

When the idea was first conceived to create a '21 people who make me feel pathetic for being 21' list, I was worried I wouldn't actually be able to fill that quota. A lot of the young actors I consider talented fall between the 22 to 25 years old group, for example Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jamie Bell, Shia LaBeouf and Keira Knightley. As it turns out, thanks to a life that's got 'EPIC FAIL' stamped all over it, I easily found not only twenty one, but hell, four other people who meets the criteria. I'm not sure if this is a call for celebration or a blatant reminder to get the hell off my ass and get on life, but what the hell. Here are 25 kids who make me feel 25 shades of fail.

edit: Now with

1. Michael Cera
Born in 1988.

You know him from: Arrested Development, Superbad, The Clark and Duke Show, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, Juno.
Why: While it remains to be seen whether his astute comedic timing can be applied to different characters, thus far, he's perfected the shy gawking teenager bit to absolute second-hand embarassment that it's hard to fault him for what is essentially the same character in different incarnations.

2. Daniel Radcliffe
Born in 1989.

You know him from: This little ol' children's film - very indie and unheard of, Equus, Extras and looking like Elijah Wood's doppelganger.
Why: Sure, perhaps his physical characteristics may have been the main factor why he even scored the Pottah gig to begin with, and yeah, the first and second installments are way to excruciating to sit through past the first viewing (to be fair, owing to very uninspired direction too). But ever since #3: The Prisoner of Azkaban, I've watched with growing interest as Radcliffe proved his mettle against more established actors. I've hypothesized that his acting skills seem to correlate with the amount of screen time he has against Gary Oldman (they first meet in #3 you see) and the gut-wrenching torment exhibited in the final act of #5: The Order of the Phoenix may be a barometer of what is to come from young Radcliffe. It will be really fascinating to see how he fares in the sixth installment now that Oldman is no longer there to be his acting foil.

3. Nathan Gamble
Born in 1998.

You know him from: The Mist, The Dark Knight, Babel.
Why: As an arrogant, smug, observer of pop culture, there's frankly nothing more I love than being ahead of the curve, pointing out 'things to watch', and then gloating with an obnoxious "I told you so" when proven right. So when I say Nathan Gamble is a name to watch, take heed and write it down if need be. Trust me, I've got my smirk fired up and all ready to go. Gamble may have been eclipsed by the holy trinity of Gary Oldman, Heath Ledger and Christian Bale in this year's Batman, but after a standout debut in Babel and The Mist early this year, you can bet your bottom dollar that regardless of his age, he can inflict the gravitas needed in his roles so that when he's hurting, you're hurting right there with him too. Get your tissues ready. You're going to need it when he's making you sob (and when I'm yelling all gloat-y like "I told you so, in your face" asshole-like).

4. Teddy Geiger
Born in 1988.

You know him from: Setting teenage girls heart all a-flutter with his hit and (Confidence) For You I Will and The Rocker.
Why: Because he plays the guitar and sing real good. Also, he's prettier than me. Godammit.

5. Saoirse Ronan
Born in 1994.

You know her from: Atonement, City of Ember.
Why: There is something in her piercing blue eyes that just absolutely captures the depth of her emotion and makes you believe in anything and everything you say. The Hollywood Machine was quick to be entranced as well, honouring Ronan with a Best Supporting Actress nomination in this year's Oscars, for her work in Atonement. Time will tell if she was merely a one hit wonder but the trailers for City of Ember indicate that she's quite adapt at straddling both ends of the comedy/action family flick as well as the Oscar-worthy period drama spectrum.

5. Thomas Sangster
Born in 1990.

You know him from: Love, Actually; Nanny McPhee
Why: Once you strip away all the cringeworthy moments in the say-no-to-diabetes romantic flick, Love, Actually, (English loser goes to America and becomes a sex god?!), the movie isn't really that bad. It's especially easy to sit through the story involving young Sangster learning to play a musical instrument to capture the attention of the girl he loves. However you feel about kid actors, the moment when confused and frustrated little Simon confesses to "being in love" to his dad, you can't help but melt a little inside. Mr Sangster has successfully captured the essense of adorableness. Prepare to gush aplenty.

6. Skandar Keynes
Born in 1991.

You know him from: The Chronicles of Narnia #1 and #2.
Why: Lifted from IMDB, "Through his father, Keynes is the great-great-great grandson of the famous scientist Charles Darwin. His father is the great-nephew of famed economist John Maynard Keynes." Yeah with ancestry like that and a name like this... I believe on the streets, they refer to such cases as this as 'mad pwntage'. Besides making your family roots seem fairly insignificant, Keynes is, in my opinion, the most talented actor of the Pevensie bunch, and very witty as proven during his media rounds for the film. Also, just saying, he's rather easy on the eyes. Yes Chris Hansen, I'm taking my seat over there.

7. Ellen Page
Born 21 February 1987.

You know her from: Juno, Hard Candy and X-Men: The Last Stand.
Why: Technically, Page barely makes the cut being a mere 19 days younger than me but her immense talent meant she simply couldn't be ignored. It's just 19 days that set us apart yet there's about another 19 different kinds of pathetic when the both of us are compared. Juno may have fallen prey to the backlash, but it's redundant and frankly idiotic to say that Page did not deserve the accolades she received. The little nuances Page added to the character made Juno become more than a two dimensional wankery of Hollywood creation. Juno is a jaded, world-weary teenager, much like others who've passed the halls of teen flicks before, but she is someone who stands her ground, defiant, stubborn and proud, until that little tremble of her lip gives her away. And you know that underneath the sound and the bluster, is just another confused girl making her way through life the best way she knows how. Page captured the complexities of being a teenage girl in that one character, and as an ex-teen still embracing her teenagedom, I have to say bravo. Life wasn't a Hannah Montana ride for me, as I'm sure it isn't for anyone else not named Miley Cyrus. To have a strong teenage female icon (well apart from the whole teen pregnancy bit) in this landscape of regurgitated teen pop stars, I feel I can breathe a sigh of relief for the future generation to come.

Also, how convincingly scary was she in Hard Candy?

8. Operator Please
Born in varying years. All still high school aged at current time.

You know them from: Their hit singles 'Get What You Want' and 'Just a Song About Ping Pong'.
Why: Because I've always wanted to be in a band but lack any conceivable kind of musical talent. This band from Gold Coast, Australia, has set the music charts ablaze with their catchy single, winning the ARIA award for Best Breakthrough Artist in 2007. And hell, half of them are barely out from high school! Part of why they work is their relatively young age. After all you can't be 24 and capture the zeitgeist of youth just right. So it is up to this young 'uns, to write up the anthems to this generation's youth and be the mascot for music talent version 2.0.0.8.

9. Rory Culkin
Born in 1989.

You know him from: Mean Creek, The Chumscrubber, Signs.
Why: The Culkin family has churned out a bunch of actor kids, and while Macaulay and Kieran showed some promise initially, their choice of lunacy and indie respectively has made it hard to properly hand out the title of 'Best of the Bunch'. Since Rory's first major acting role in Signs, he's gone to on to prove that perhaps the Culkin blood can deliver more than cutesy and broody. To be fair and not judge him based on his other acting kin, Rory is a really very talented actor transcending the stereotype of 'annoying kid actor' roles so many other of his peers are doomed to never live down (ahem.. Sprouse brothers, I'm looking at you).

10. Lily Cole
Born in 1988.

You know her from: Being a supermodel and making you jealous with her superior genes, the Miu Miu ad campaign in 2007.
Why: Oh come on. Red hair, pale skin, blue eyes, legs that won't quit.. Need I say more?

11. Kristen Stewart
Born in 1990.

You know her from: Jumper (like all 10 seconds of it), Twilight, Into the Wild, Zathura, Panic Room.
Why: Not only is she gorgeous, she is talented and seems to be wary enough of the Hollywood machine. In her interviews she comes across as well-balanced and well-spoken, seemingly unimpressed with the fame she is amassing. And if you want to argue semantics, Emile Hirsch, Jamie Bell and Robert Pattinson. Plus she's been dating Michael Angarano since she was 16. Look, I'm a perfectly balanced sane individual and I realize the odds of meeting these lovely boys (zero to infinity and I have to grow some testicles first), but there is an illogical part in my brain that is just screaming "JEALOUS" in loud caps repeatedly. Seriously. JEALOUS.

12. Hayden Panettiere
Born in 1989.

You know her from: Heroes, Remember the Titans, Ally McBeal.
Why: Her skin is flawless. Neutrogena does jack shit for me! A lot of guys are salivating over the self-generating cheerleader in Heroes now, but long time obsessive pop culture theorists will have long been crowing about the feisty little Coach Yoast's daughter in Remember the Titans. I try not to bring up her stint as Ally's daughter in Ally McBeal unless need be. Nobody needs reminding of that feral crap of a TV show.

13. Freddie Highmore
Born in 1992.

You know him from: August Rush, Finding Neverland, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Spiderwick Chronicles.
Why: If Thomas Sangster has got 'adorableness' down pat, Freddie Highmore has 'tortured old soul' finely tuned on his resume. Every role he's played thus far has been imbued with maturity and wisdom that befits a far older and accomplished actor. The Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell's of the world would do well to take a leaf out of Highmore's book.

14 & 15. Elle and Dakota Fanning
Born in 1998 and 1994 respectively.

You know them from: Babel, I Am Sam, Hide and Seek, Charlotte's Web.
Why: The Fanning sisters are like the anti-thesis to the Sprouse Brothers. That's the one fouling up Disney with The Suite Life of Zack and Cody in case you're wondering. One pair is naturally imbued with talent, grace and a lifetime of grade A Hollywood movies while the other will probably resort to the lowest common denominator on the entertainment barometer for many years to come and then get addicted and abuse some kind of illegal substance, go to rehab and write a tell-all memoir later in life. You may think I am mean for picking on young actors, but history has indicated that I am not entirely wrong in presuming so. Also, of course I'm not the nicest person in the world! This is a list picking on younger talented folks, hello?

16. Abigail Breslin
Born in 1996.

You know her from: Signs, Little Miss Sunshine, Nim's Island and Kit Kittredge: All-American Girl.
Why: Watching Rory Culkin in Signs was enough to make me sit up and pay notice. But it was the one-two punch of Culkin and Breslin that made me sit up, notice and tear up, particularly in the kitchen scene near the end. Watching the DVD extras and a four year old Abigail chatting about how she interpreted her character makes me just about die with the cute overload. And really, a lot of the success for Little Miss Sunshine owes itself to the perpetually perplexed yet strong-hearted anchor, Olive. Had I a heart, I would feel almost bad for not including her brother in this list. But then I guess, I'll just wait for the tell-all memoir to read about his feelings of inadequacies when compared to his younger and more talented sister a couple of years down the road.

17. Anton Yelchin
Born in 1989.

You know him from: Alpha Dog, Huff, Hearts in Atlantis.
Why: Yes, I'm in this seat over here, Mr Hansen. Talent should not come in the form of a younger person. It makes perving a whole lot ickier.

18. Alyson Stoner
Born in 1993.

You know her from: Step Up, Cheaper by the Dozen and Missy Elliot's 'Work It' and 'Gossip Folks' videoclip.
Why: So apart from being jealous of pretty kids, kids with musical talents and kids with acting talent, I'm also jealous of kids who are limber and can dance mad awesome. Obviously, my jealousy knows no bounds.

19. Alex Pettyfer
Born in 1990.

You know him from: Wild Child, Stormbreaker and being really, really ridiculously good-looking.
Why: Pedobear stamp approved. Oh gross. I don't want to be perving on some kid who is the same age as my brother. I guess I should take comfort in the fact that he's not 15 or something.

20. Indio Downey Jr.
Born in 1993.

You know him for: Being proof that Robert Downey Jr.'s genes are superior and awesome.
Why: 2008 - 1993 = ... Wait. What now.

21. Adam G. Sevani
Born in 1992.

You know him for: Step Up 2, The online dance off between ACDC and M&M.
Why: Sure, Step Up 2 fails on all levels on bearing some semblance to a realistic film. But it's a dance flick. And as a dance flick, well, damn, it's like Titanic all over again in 1995. Adam G. Sevani was one of the standouts in a terrible flick filled with super slick dance moves, both acting and dance wise. Let's hope his sweet skills and goofy humour can translate to getting some work further down the road.

22. Michael Angarano
Born in 1987, Dec 3.

You know him from: Dear Wendy, Sky High, Lords of Dogtown, Almost Famous, The Forbidden Kingdom mistaking his last name for the spice, oregano.
Why: Constantly touted as one of the best young actors under 25, Angarano has worked his way up during his long stint in the industry to become one of the better young leading actors of today. Everybody likes the story of an overnight success, but it's even better when a long time player gets the due recognition he deserves. Whether playing the earnest underachiever, the social misfit or the kungfu student-in-training, Angarano will make you believe in every role he takes on. Someday I'll tell you why Sky High is one of my favourite Disney movies ever and completely underrated. A lot of it comes down to the eager and willing Will Stronghold, as portrayed by Angarano. Also, Bruce Campbell. Yes, that's right. Bruce mothereffin' Campbell. Get to it!

23. Willa Holland
Born in 1991.

You know her from: The O.C, Gossip Girl, model extraordinaire.
Why: While she seems to have this really huge hate base online, I find Willa Holland to be a decent enough actress. She's young, she's gorgeous, of course people are going to be sipping the haterade. (JEALOUS)

24. Taylor Momsen
Born in 1993.

You know her from: How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Gossip Girl, IMG model
Why: She grew up under the limelight and somehow didn't have that awkward puberty growth most girls have from11-14 years old . JEALOUS. I was a right mess, alright at that age. She's got a role on the most popular teen series at the moment and is currently signed to one of the top modeling agencies in the world. Oh, the envy, how bright it glows in green!

25. Emma Stone
Born in 1988.

You know her from: Drive, Superbad, The Rocker, The House Bunny.
Why: Often described as 'the hotter, more sober version of Lindsay Lohan', it would be unfair to label Emma Stone 'Lohan version 2.0' solely because of the red hair and freckles. While LaLohan has racked up the papparazzi points with her recurring tabloid fixtures, Stone has gone on to perform consistently in comedy hits these past two years. Her star is rising and it will be definitely be an interesting one to follow. Also, she got together with Tyson Ritter in The House Bunny and is supposedly currently dating her co-star in The Rocker, Teddy Geiger. JEALOUSSSSSSSS.

After-election food for thought

2008-11-06T10:14:00.004+08:00

World wide response and voter response to Obama's win

equals

The first book of Harry Potter, when Voldemort is first defeated and there's global fanwankery, no?

Versus: School of Rock and The Rocker

2008-10-26T03:51:00.009+08:00

VS

Wherein School of Rock tells the story of a former rock star, played by Jack Black, who gets screwed over by his band mates and tries everything to return to the glory days of being a guitar god and The Rocker is about a former rock star, played by Rainn Wilson, who gets screwed over by his band mates and tries everything to return to the glory days of being a drummer god.

Wait.

What now?

10 reasons why you should be watching The Office.

2008-09-28T01:26:00.012+08:00

Bear in mind, all these reasons were taken from one mere episode. Imagine the pure awesome multiplied in 22 episodes over 4 seasons (and counting). Get on it!

***Spoilers for s05e01 ahead***

10. The excellent writing

If you're taking a scriptwriting class, look no further than The Office to fully understand what writing dialogue for your character entails. The assumptions you get about the characters from reading these little snippets? Yeah, you're probably not incorrect in your assessment there.

Holly: Excuse me.
Michael: No. I will ex-squeeze you.
Dwight: Wait a minute. One more bite of eclair each. Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow.
Jim: smirks - looks at the camera - looks at Michael Really? Nothing?

Dwight: I apologize for creating a ruse to force you to exercise.

Jim: See, you're always saying there's something wrong with society, but maybe there's something wrong with you.
Michael: If it's me then society may be that wrong.

Michael: What is wrong with this people? They have no willpower. I once went 38 years without having sex. And then again for 7 years.

And to counter Michael's doofiness, the writers throw in moments where he's looking straight at the camera and stating off-the-cuff that "Oh, Holly doesn't need luck. Everyone that meets her instantly loves her." It's a testament to Steve Carell's amazing performance that he goes from exasperating to adorable in .23 seconds and makes you believe that yeah, Michael Scott, is actually a pretty decent guy even with all the shortcomings. I live for these moments. I really do.

9. Holly, the new HR manager

Jim: I can't believe I'm saying this but Michael is actually killing it with Holly. And I think I know why. It's because Holly is kinda a major dork.

8. Kevin Malone

Kevin: Fired guy!

7. Ryan Howard - the temp, who became the youngest VP of Dunder-Mifflin fell from his high graces and now is back to being a temp

Ryan: I think I never really processed 9/11.

6. Ed Helms as Andy Bernard - who, in my opinion, singlehandedly saved season 3 from the pits of epic suck

Andy: Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them because they are unfair.

5. Michael Scott

With reference to Michael Klump:

Dwight: I sit - I sit - I sit on you!

4. Some PB&J loving - possibly the most adorable couple on TV at the moment (Sorry Chuck and Ned. You still lose to the Jam).

3. Kelly Kapoor

2. Dwight and Jim

Jim (to Pam): I know, I suck.
Dwight: Yes, you do.
Jim Dwight says hi.
Dwight: I do not. I do not say say hi, Pam.
Jim: Now he's saying it louder.

1. The mancrush rivalry going on between Michael, Dwight and the very unwilling and reluctant Ryan.

Ryan: You got a goatee.
Michael: I did!
Ryan: Did you get that after you helped me move and you saw mine?
Michael: Yes! Go-T!

Later on:
Michael: Hey. You shaved. Why?

Much later on in the warehouse:
Michael: Hey Ryan. Look. Shaved off my goatee. I am goatee-less. We are The Goatee-less brothers.

The camera pans to Dwight in the background.

Quotable Quotes: Darkness Falls

2008-08-12T22:24:00.004+08:00

Officer Matt Henry: Batten, see what that was.
Officer Andy Batten: No, you go see.
Officer Matt Henry: I out rank you.
Officer Andy Batten: Lead by example and see what it was.

And that is how anyone should react when told to basically walk to their deaths.

Fuck you: The Spazcam and Peter Berg

2008-07-22T21:39:00.003+08:00

There is no bigger pet peeve of mine in movies than the spaz cam shaky effect. Ya know, when the result you get when the director has decided to tether the camera to a dog who suffers from chronic epilepsy. I don't mind it so much when it's integral to the story (Cloverfield, The Blair Witch Project) but I abso-fucking-lutely go on a rampage when it's used just cause the director thinks it's edgy and meant to translate the intensity of the moment. I don't even know why they do that. Steadicam that shit up!

Peter Berg, I'm talking to you.

You're one of the biggest offenders here. Whatever appeal Hancock had was destroyed when I couldn't look at Jason Bateman without the camera spazzing out every two seconds. Twitchy McGee wants you to quit that bull pronto. Now I'm trying to watch the pilot of Friday Night Lights and what do I see? Spazzy cam action. And whose name do I see credited as director? Oh my fucking god. The only reason I caught it even though the camera was whizzing this way round was cause of the print.

Get thee to a tripod, stat!

Review: The Dark Knight

2008-07-18T22:06:00.004+08:00

In what was perhaps one of my bigger asshole moments, I wrote snidely on a friend's Facebook wall that when it came to The Dark Knight, "-spoiler alert- Batman will win in the end". I wrote that remark approximately a week ago from when TDK premiered on the 16th of July. At that point I was completely and absolutely tired with everything Batman related.;the jokerized everything on ONTD, the never ending viral marketing, the discussion regarding Heath Ledger's unfortunate death and how that may or may not be affected by his portrayal of the Joker, the obnoxious fan parade - like I mentioned before, all that insane hype and build up was ironically detracting from the movie's appeal. At that point I just wanted to get it over and done with so the madness would stop.

Perhaps a little backstory is necessary. I have never been a fan of Batman. This is rather ironic given that of all the Marvel/DC superheroes, I am most familiar with the history of Batman, ie his various incarnations in popular culture and how it's shifted over mediums and time. But really, to me, Batman is effectively a rich guy with too much money to spend and an overwhelming sense of self-importance. Blah blah blah, "but Karen he's so honorable cause he's like avenging the death of his parents!", I can hear the fanboys cry out. Well, there is honour in being a lawyer too is all I have to say. But then I suppose the story of a super lawyer would be better fitted to a John Grisham novel than a comic book. Anyway to reiterate, me no likey Batman. Not very much at all.

Alright, so we fast forward to Monday, 14th July 2008 and suddenly I'm realizing that my feelings about Batman isn't integral to my movie-watching experience. The fact that the entire cast reads like a modern wish list of the greatest cinema geek was more than enough reason to get my arse to the cinemas and watch The Dark Knight. Besides, it was Christopher Nolan's film. There could be nothing short of epicness when that name is attached to a project. So on Thursday morning of the 17th of July, my movie watching bud and I took the day off work and went down to our local cinema to catch the 10.30 am screening. Seems a bit over the top, but mind you, that cinema hall was half-packed.

So what is my opinion of the film now that I've watched it? Well for starters, it is very, very good. It is also very dark and violent as NY Mag is so quick to point out. But it is a necessary darkness that Nolan delves into for within it then only can I finally understand the appeal behind Batman and why the Dark Knight has endured the superficial misgivings I have been so quick to label him with. The Dark Knight is essentially a philosophical study in where the lines are drawn in morality, corruptibility and ethics. Batman as we know, represents the paragon of goodness that the Joker doesn't. Heath Ledger plays the Joker without any of the camp aesthetic Jack Nicholson brought to the role, thus making his villain a very scary one - anarchistic and evil, yet very clever. It lends credence to Batman, gives his villain-fighting a greater sense and purpose that goes far beyond the excuse of avenging his parents.

But I'm getting a head of myself. We were talking about morality, corruptibility and ethics. There is no better character study of said issues than in the character of Harvey Dent (played by the woefully overlooked Aaron Eckhart in the wake of the Ledger posthumous-praise). Dent starts out as one of the few good guys in Gotham city, working hard as District Attorney to clean up the streets of Gotham City. He and Batman are essentially the same person but on two sides of a coin. Dent is a city hero, catching the crooks, showing himself to be incorruptible when dealing with criminals, wanting the affections of Rachel Dawes. The people love and adore him giving him the title of 'the White Knight of Gotham'. Batman on the other hand, shares many similarities but is on the flip side. Labeled a vigilante, an outcast, he is the Dark Knight - as the title indicates. In an alternate universe, Wayne probably would have ended up the same route as Dent, fighting injustice through reasonable means - being a lawyer. Watching the turn both men takes as the movie progresses is absolutely riveting. It certainly teaches us that chance and choice begets very different results.

As mentioned before, the cast is phenomenal. Each individual by themselves are terrific performers, but together they band together to create a story so moving, so absorbing, that for 2 and a half hours, there is no other reality than what you observe on screen. A lot has been said and written about Ledger's Joker and I don't feel the need to add to that. Heath Ledger's death was very tragic, and the fact that his last role was so disturbing will probably fan the fire of conspiracy theorists for a long time. All I have to say is, of course he was fantastic. Has Brokeback Mountain taught you nothing?! Let's not forget the rest of the cast though. Christian Bale is brilliant at switching between the gravitas needed for the role of the Caped Crusader and the frivolous playboy alter ego Bruce Wayne. Aaron Eckhart's descent into madness and into Two-Face was approached with great subtlety and nuance. But I clap the hardest for Gary Oldman's Lt./Commissioner James 'Jim' Gordon. It's a hard task playing the straightest of straight guys, but Oldman imbues his character with the commitment and strong will that is needed to believe that he believes in good and will never be persuaded by the dark side. The final act in particular and Jim Gordon's speech enforces my new appreciation of Batman.

So yeah, I was a massive wanker for taking such a condescending tone with Batman in that early Facebook wall post I left. And I have since apologize to said friend for being an asshole. Because the truth is, Batman's 'win', if you want to call it that wasn't as cut and dry as I made it out to be. This is no Spiderman 2. Under Christopher Nolan's direction, every success came with a heavy loss. It adds unparalleled depth to the case for Batman and in this light do I finally accept his 'superhero' status. It is only in The Dark Knight that Bruce Wayne's life choices has finally earned him the title of superhero in my books.

Loving these links: Lists and heinous evil people.

2008-07-03T07:33:00.002+08:00

We're halfway into 2008 and film sites and blogs have started listing out the best films of the year so far. Via ONTD, Movie City News makes me feel bad for bludging and missing out on catching Paranoid Park when it was screening. At least we're on the same side of the fence when it comes to Indy #4: Let's See How Much Fanboys Will Eat This Up.

And on the Film Experience Blog, Nathaniel R has attempted some subjectivity when weighing in on the film version of Sex and the City and how it rates against the other films that have come out thus far. With news of a big-screen version of Friends in the works, you have to wonder where movie producers will draw the line when ~~using~~ abusing nostalgia to springboard film ideas. Oh wait, they're making motherfucking Thor, who as a non-active comic book reader, rates about a negative 700 on the interesting scale level. In Internet speak, "OIC", just about correctly sums up my feelings.

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And just when you think that co-worker or neighbour of yours is the most evil person since Josef Fritzel (how's that for an updated analogy), read about how some fuckwit has stolen the gravestone of Ian Curtis, lead singer of Joy Division here. All he or she needs to do now is to put it up for sale on eBay to deservedly receive the title of 'Bastard of the Year'.

And proving that Joe Simpson, father to the two Simpson girls, is the biggest skeeze in overbearing celebrity parents, even more so than Dina Lohan who's currently hawking out her youngest daughter on a television program or even Jelena Dokic and her angry, angry father, here's what he had to say when news reached him that Jessica had topped the poll of 'Best Breasts in Hollywood':

"She's got double-Ds! You can't cover those suckers up."

There's supportive and then there's prime-example-of-why-people-shouldn't-have-kids! Guess which side of the line Joe Simpson falls on?

These people prove that in choosing to put my faith in humanity, I have shot myself in the foot, the ass, the brain and oh god, why couldn't I have been religious instead?? In other words, I have absolutely fucked myself over.

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Finally, Entertainment Weekly has released their list of Top 25 Funniest People in America. For the most part, I think most of the people on that list deserves to be there, perhaps not in the order EW has cast them in, but then again comedy is such a subjective topic. While broad gags brings the funny for some, others might prefer the awkward, situational kind.

With regards to their commentary on number one, 'Can you even remember what movie comedy looked like before [I'll leave you unspoiled] came along last summer?', my answer is, "Yes, I can. They were called the Frat Pack. And before that, they went by the name Farrelly Brothers but if you want to be super old school, comedy went (and still goes) by the name Mel Brooks." Suffice to say that I'm not entirely happy with who EW has picked for number one. But it's pointless to debate it. I'll make my own damn list, thank you very much.

Pretty =/= Talent: The Keanu Reeves/Steve Buscemi Scale

2008-06-29T04:42:00.000+08:00

In a new feature here at Pop Culture Geekery, we will be applying simple mathematics and analyzing the unfortunate event where a pretty actor/actress does not deliver on the performance front. Simply put, prettiness does not equal talent.

Using my bitchass MS Paint skills, I have drawn up a graph that is both easy to read and will tell you everything you need to know about this theory;

Comprende?

This segment will rate and chronicle other actors/actresses who walk the thin line between pretty and talent.

Links Almighty!: Pixar, Grindhouse, Kanye and other shenanigans

2008-06-28T01:50:00.001+08:00

Kanye West, he of the talent and the whine, goes crazy on the capslock action to show that he is MAD AS HALE. Something about coming on stage two hours late at the Bonnarroo music festival and being met by an angry crowd is what's gotten his goat this time around.

But this Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I've ever had in my life. This is the most offended I've ever been... this is the maddest I ever will be. I'm typing so fucking hard I might break my fucking Mac book Air!!!!!!!!

I believe the Internet called and the netizens of the world has this to say, "Call the WAHHHHHHHHHmbulance, son." Nice product placement there, by the way. Nobody likes a delayed performance, but sometimes a simple explanation and a 'sorry' will suffice. That being mocked, it's hard to hate on Kanye when he so obviously has so much passion for his work and craft.

Call me any name you want.... arrogant, conceited, narcissistic, racist, metro, fag whatever you can think of.... BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN'T GIVE MY ALL! NEVER SAY I DIDN'T GIVE MY ALL!

Even if his passion does sometimes translates to excessive whine and the abuse of the caps lock button. Read the whole ranty whine/explanation here. Beware, your eyes might bleed halfway through it.
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The Film Experience blog carries on the Vanity Fair retrospective with a look at the annual VF Hollywood cover of 2000 and 2001.

This is 2000. From left to right: Penelope Cruz, Wes Bentley, Mena Suvari, Marley Shelton, Chris Klein, Selma Blair, Paul Walker (looking mighty out of place with that grin), Jordana Brewster and Sarah Wynter (way to jump the gun there, VF). Read the retrospective here.

And in 2001, from left to right: Nicole Kidman, Catherine Deneuve, Meryl Streep, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cate Blanchett, Kate Winslet, Vanessa Redgrave, Chloe Sevigny, Sophia Loren, and Penelope Cruz. Read about it here .

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Via ONTD, read about Coldplay in the latest issue of Spin magazine. Make of their music what you will, but Chris Martin's stint as a self-obsessed rock star on the BBC Extras, and such quotes like this,

"Politicians must be so happy about how crazily over-the-top celebrity society is at the moment, because it means that they can get away with murder. Literally, murder. Because everyone's following around a 26-year-old girl and obsessing about her life instead of what's really going on in the world."

leads me to think him a very likable man. Here be the article, click it and read.

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With the upcoming release of Wall-E, which by the way, has scored an insanely high 98% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes thus far, the A.V. Club has written out a really illuminating article on the history of Pixar -from it's creation to explore the use of computers to produce moving graphics to becoming the industry behemoth movie-going audiences have come to associate with good quality animated films. (We do not speak of Cars) A.V. Club has also chronicled all the little shorts Pixar have included pre-movies and added the YouTube video for your viewing pleasure. Even if animated movies aren't your cup of tea, it's hard to deny the talent and appeal behind the Pixar works.

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And Melbourners/-nites(?)/people of Melbourne(??), take note. If you've heard about the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino double feature Grindhouse, you'd probably also know that owing to it being a flop in the States, the entire movie got cut and dissected into two separate features, Planet Terror and Death Proof everywhere else in the world. As gimmicky as Grindhouse might have sounded, it was an unfortunate incident that it had to be destroyed like so. The presentation of it - the hackneyed film roll and the fake movie trailers especially created to fill the gaps between the movies were part of the initial charm.

Thankfully, The Astor Theatre at St Kilda will be screening Grindhouse, as originally concocted, all next week (from 29 June to 5 July). It'll be screening every night at 7.30 pm with additional matinée screenings at 2 pm on Saturday and Sunday. Directions to the theatre cab be found here. So now, you have absolutely no excuse to miss it. Bring on the shlocky gore and sex appeal, I say!

The Summer of My Discontent: Music Edition

2008-06-24T21:46:00.000+08:00

With the dismal state of movie affairs, I was afraid the disappointment would carry over to the music scene so I had been putting off purchasing Weezer's and Coldplay's latest album. After getting over my paranoia I got my ass to JB Hi-Fi and made the purchases. The verdict?

I am happy to report that I am fully contented on the music front!

Coldplay has reinvented their sound and whether the change can be attributed to Brian Eno's involvement, personal growth, or the need to silence the comparisons between them and Snow Patrol, Viva La Vida is different from their usual fare. I've always said that Coldplay has progressively been growing style-wise, especially if you compare the dreamy sounds of Parachute with the rousing stadium rock of X&Y.

But I can't crow to much about Viva La Vida. I have to admit that thus far, I've only heard the entire CD once. Not because it's unimpressive, because it is, but my attention has been diverted elsewhere. Namely, The Red Album.

This is without a doubt, Weezer's comeback album. The Red Album is, in a word, glorious. I am aware that I might actually just be overcompensating and overprojecting enthusiasm here after the utter disappointment that was the-album-we-do-not-speak-of, but Red sounds great. I believe Austin Powers would describe the band as, "getting [their] mojo back".

Weezer over the years.
Weezer got off the drugs they sang about in Make Belive and are back to form. Yes, I went there. If there's anything good about that abomination, is 'Perfect Situation', 'The Other Way' and making lame jokes about the rest. Weezer, you are pardoned. What can I say? Lame albums breeds lameness. That's just how it works. For another example of that rule in action, observe the utter lameness that is Scott Stapp and his band, Creed. Not the same but I'm sure you get my point.

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A.V. Club recently featured the best tracks thus far of 2008. Read the article here. Going through it made me realize how out of loop I am with the current music scene. Out of the 27 tracks, I have only heard 3. And two of the songs don't count because I only heard them after buying the albums mentioned above.

Somehow without listening to the radio and little access to new music, I caught onto the MGMT bandwagon. While 'Time to Pretend' is good, 'Indie Rockers' and 'Boogie Down' have been on constant repeat on my iTunes. If my iTunes could speak, it'd probably scream, "KAREN, GET NEW MATERIAL ALREADY. AND STOP PLAYING MARIAH CAREY TOO."

All this talk of new music got me wondering. How do people go about picking up new tunes? Is it from the radio, forums, the Internet or if you want to be super old school, magazines and newspaper reviews? I usually get new releases from bands I already like or suggestions from my brother, who has the most agreeable and varied taste in music. I used to have a Last FM but that didn't work out so well. How do you get new music?

The Summer of My Discontent: What Would MacGyver Do?

2008-06-21T23:31:00.000+08:00

(It's actually winter in Australia now. But let's not argue semantics now.)

Summer movies as a whole aren't lauded for their Oscar-worthy material. To reflect the warmer weather and longer days, Hollywood churns out easy-going crowd-pleasing fare that requires very little thought-processing after you've figured out how much change you should get for your ticket.

Nonetheless though, I'm finding that in 2008, Hollywood is really scrapping the bottom of the entertainment barrel here. Thus far the majority of the films I've seen and those that are coming out soon inspire very little but apathy and "Seriously?!"s.

These are the movies I've watched recently that I couldn't even bothered be typing up a review for because all my thoughts point to one word: FAIL.

What Happens In Vegas
Indiana Jones and the Epic SkullFuckery (or something like that)
The Chronicles of Narnia 2: Where The Theme of The Day is Killing and Plundering is A-Okay even if you're not 17.

And these are the movies that are screening (soon) that I can only work up a "Meh" at.

The Happening
You Don't Mess With the Zohan
The Love Guru
Sex and the City
Speed Racer
Get Smart
Mamma Mia!
Meet Dave
Star Wars: The Clone Wars aka Morefanboy wank material from George Lucas
The Mummy 3

In fact, apart from Iron Man, everything else has just sort of been really disappointing. That includes The Incredible Hulk. Although that is mainly because I am one of the few who liked Ang Lee's movie and didn't see the need for a remake, even if it included Edward Norton and his impressive body. Although to be fair, I did like the, "You won't like me when I'm... hungry?" subtitled joke.

It has gotten to the point where in a very dreary movie, I remedy my boredom and disappointment by thinking to myself, "What would MacGyver do?"

It's a little childish and lame, but thinking up how MacGyver, the titular man's man, would react to the scenarios on screen brings the hilarity that the film fails to project. Honestly, it's rather pathetic having to think up entertainment when I'm paying to be entertained.

I'll keep going to see the moving pictures because I must. But I can't help but wonder if anyone else is noticing the massive suckage that are the summer movies of 2008. Hell, even the viral marketing for The Dark Knight is ironically taking away all my anticipation for the film. Turns out there is such a thing as overkill. I would have thought a lesson would have been learned from Snakes on A Plane. Apparently the movie execs think otherwise.

Movie Review: 21

2008-05-28T00:45:00.000+08:00

My biggest problem with 21 may seem like a really trivial insignificant one but upon discovering it, it wouldn't get out of my head, nor could I find any explanation for it, hence it drove me nearly insane trying to figure it out which is why I'm just going to spill it out here because if I think about it one more goddamn run-on sentence longer, I'll "break my cheekbone with a hammer"* and here it is:

If Ben is supposed to be hard up for cash, why the hell is he carrying, of all messenger bags, a Freitag bag?

I'm a little ashamed to admit that one tiny oversight from the wardrobe department bothered me so much since it was nowhere near integral to the plot or direction of the film, but I suppose knowing how much one of those babies cost (Ben's bag in particular is going for about US$190 on the website), it was really distracting to see this 'poor', yes, I'm breaking out the quotation marks, dude struggle to earn cash.

I thought about it throughout the movie. Was it perhaps a gift? A shopping splurge? Did he get it off a second hand store? Discounted? By using a Freitag, are we supposed to glean off Ben's life philosophies? Did the wardrobe department not expect common movie goers to know about Freitag? Why Freitag and not a plain canvas bag? For a movie that only rolled out brand names after the Blackjack team started winning at Las Vegas, why was there mention of a brand now? Ben's entire wardrobe, short of the winning streak in Vegas, was completely nondescript and brand-less. He wasn't even wearing Chucks or some other easily identifiable footwear. So why a Freitag bag?

I couldn't understand why I was so fixated on this. Was I merely pulling off Lost fanboy tendencies and inflicting meaning into every single happening? Have I perhaps chanced upon some kind of anal-retentive brand association characteristic that was previously lying dormant? Why was this Freitag issue holding up so much of my attention?? And then it dawned on me.

The reason why I was wasting my efforts focusing on one minute detail that occurred four minutes into the film was because the other two hours of the movie as a whole was simply not riveting. At all. For a movie to be about cheating the institution at high stakes gambling, 21 was very dull and lacked any real suspense. Everything about the film was very by-the-numbers, observe:

Insert one bland but pretty main protagonist; Check.
Insert one love interest who will inexplicably end up falling for bland pretty main protagonist; Check.
Insert background team members with random quirky behaviour; one kleptomaniac, one 'other female' and jealous loser, all present.
Insert evil antagonist with mysterious past and dead eyes; Kevin Spacey, there you are!
Insert flashy scenes of Las Vegas montages, yay!-we're-rich-watch-us-now sequences, unimportant background actors, people from 'The Man'-type institutions; all here.
Final double cross action during the climax? Yawn.

It should have been gold. I remember watching the story of the MIT Blackjack Team way back when and being completely absorbed. What went wrong between transcribing the story from real life to celluloid, well, a weak script and an even weaker director would be my guess. And as much as I adore Jim Sturgess, casting him as a 21 year old works about as well as casting Jessica Simpson in any other role but the chesty dumb blonde. But not to worry. At the rate Hollywood is revisiting old material recently, there should be a new updated version of this story in, say about five years. Three, if they get really desperate, and they decide to stop making Adam Sandler-type movies featuring Adam Sandler. Let's hope that messenger bags aren't the sole attention grabber in the next hypothetical film.

* = The threat is a direct line used in the interrogation scene in the movie. I'm keeping it and using it for future references.

[edit]: Read this article by Wired Magazine instead. It's infinitely more interesting than the movie.

Movie Review: Smother

2008-05-10T21:40:00.000+08:00

(a Google Image search for the movie poster turned up a bunch of explicit pictures. Something tells me my kid-safe search option is not turned on.)

Anyhow, we're talking this Smother, starring one laconic Dax Shepard, one gorgeous Liv Tyler, one [adjective] Diane Keaton and one underused Mike White. A recipe for comedy gold, if you were me, would be fooled into thinking. Oh, but what a mistake!

Let it be known that death by smothering is more enticing than sitting through another minute of this insult to film. Unless the intention was to glorify lazy comedies with an overly-convoluted plot that relied heavily on overacting to deliver the set up, punch line and entire gag. If that was indeed the intention, bravo, dear Tim Rassmussen and Vince Di Meglio, for you have achieved a film unlike any other; It is virtually the anti-thesis to a comedy. Film-making schools will look upon it in the future and analyze what not to do in making a film of this genre. I think I speak on behalf of my generation when I say, thank you for your contribution. May you pave the way to a future filled with quality comedies that actually incite laughter.

That is all.

For Your Consideration: Michael Jackson

2008-05-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

Shaaaaamona! (This is how I remember Michael Jackson best.)
I recently purchased 'Michael Jackson Number Ones' from JB Hi-Fi and as ridiculous as this sounds, considering I like to consider myself quite the little pop culture trivia enthusiast, I just found out that that song that I never knew the title of which always annoyed me whenever I hear it on the radio is 'Human Nature'! I feel like an absolute retard, but what else is new?

Listening to MJ's major hits reminds me that behind the myth and tabloid fodder of the freakish persona lies one really talented pop star. When he's got it, oh, he can't stop till you get enough, alright. Personally, I like the guy. I think he's really misunderstood, and as a result of growing up in a non-traditional environment, doesn't always act according to the traditional rules that govern life. I mean, cut the guy some slack. He's been groomed to be a star at the age of us when most of us are only starting to learn the difference between our toes from our arses. All that inappropriate sleeping arrangements around young children at the Neverland Ranch, I believe, he did with innocent and pure intentions. If I had to guess, I suppose the behaviour stems from an underdeveloped sense of right/wrong that comes from the bizarro toxic spotlight of fame acheived at a young age. Drew Barrymore, another victim of that dreaded light, was an alcoholic by age 13! When you pair the excesses of fame with unhealthy mentors or lack of guidance, you get, well, Britney Spears circa 2007 (who by the way contributed to some of the best pop music in the late '90s- early '00s, coincidentally).

It shouldn't matter what skin colour he was/is. Or that he named his kids the awesomely ostentatious, Prince I and Prince II. Hell, it don't matter if he may in fact not have a nose left. We need to take a step back, separate the weird from the talent and realize that when push comes to shove, Michael Jackson deserves your respect for being a total badass and making some of the best damn songs in pop history.

In the disposable arena of pop music, MJ churned out some of the most definitive hits of our entire generation. I'm pretty sure most of us can remember the exact moment we first witnessed the insane 'Thriller' music video and our reaction to it (1994; "WHAT THE FUCK?! WHOAAA" was mine). How about 'Black or White'? As a child of the 90s, my family owned a copy of HIStory on laserdisc and that poor music disc was played to every inch of it's brutally short plastic life. Maybe it's my own bias. I've heard the saying that the music that you end up loving most will be the one that you grew up with. So my memories of MJ are his prime days from the late 80s/early 90s period, which thankfully, was his best.

It kinda was all downhill from there but revisiting Michael Jackson past all the scandals, shenanigans and accusations, I'm happy to report the self-proclaimed 'King of Pop' remains just that.

Verdict: An oldie, but a goodie.

Random trivia: At age 9, I won a trivia contest because the final question was "Which pop singer is infamous for wearing one glove on his hand?"

Linkety LinkLink: Childrens Books and Vanity Fair

2008-05-07T16:11:00.000+08:00

"I don’t know why I enjoyed killing teenagers so much, then I realized I have one at home."
- R.L. Stine, children's book author extraordinaire

via Yale Daily News.

As a young bookworm working my way to really, really, ridiculously bad eyesight, I devoured the Fear Street series in its entirety. The Goosebumps appeal was just slightly out of my age group and Christopher Pike, was way more explicit than I could handle (seriously, read it again now and you'd be surprised at how porn-y and sexed up the content is), so it was all about that one weird street where the supernatural and freaks reside.

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And completely unrelated but this retrospective of the annual Vanity Fair Hollywood covers by the Film Experience blog provides a really good indepth coverage of those featured, pre- and post-VF cover.

Annie Leibovitz shot the very first cover back in 1995. Every year since, she's continued to shoot the three page layout for Vanity Fair featuring Hollywood's up-and-coming talents of said year. While some of the actors featured haven't gone on to do much, it's really interesting seeing the trajectory of everyone's career and the Film Experience blog does a great job of chronicling just that.

This is 1995. Featuring from left to right: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Uma Thurman, Nicole Kidman, Patricia Arquette, Linda Fiorentino, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker, Julianne Moore, Angela Bassett and Sandra Bullock. Read about it here.

This is 1996. Featuring from left to right; Tim Roth, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matthey McConaughey, Benicio Del Toro, Michael Rapoport, Stephen Dorff, Jonathan Schaech, David Arquette, Will Smith and Skeet Ulrich. Read about it here.

This is 1997. From left to right; Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Claire Danes, Renee Zellweger, Alison Elliot, Minnie Driver, Jada Pinkett, Jennifer Lopez, Charlize Theron and Fairuza Balk. Read about it here.

This is 1998, one of the better covers with most of those featured still relevant in the industry at present time. From left to right; Joaquin Phoenix, Vince Vaughn, Natalie Portman, Djimon Hounsou, Cate Blanchett, Tobey Maguire, Claire Forlani, Gretchen Mol, Christina Ricci, Edward Furlong and Rufus Sewell. Read about it here.

This is 1999. Left to right; Adrien Brody, Thandie Newton, Monica Potter, Reese Witherspoon, Julia Stiles, Leelee Sobieski, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Polley, Norman Reedus, Anna Friel, Omar Epps, Kate Hudson, Vinessa Shaw, and Barry Pepper. You can read about it here.

This post will be updated when more covers are released by the self-described Hollywood Historian.

2008-04-20T16:36:00.000+08:00

With reference to There Will Be Blood and the infamous "I drink your milkshake" quote:

So, yeah… Seriously. What the hell is the milkshake thing?
“As I understand it (NOT having seen the movie), and to cross two memes together, “I drink your milkshake, I drink it up!” is a way of saying “I have inflicted massive pwntangage on you.” He might belong a base or two as well.

I do not know if there is a milkshake present that the pwntanged individual was drinking, and whether or not said hypothetical milkshake was indeed drunk a la Jules Winfield.

But that seems to be the gist.” — Jay

Taken from Pajiba's Eloquent Eloquence weekly comment awards.

Fandom meme

2008-04-17T22:45:00.002+08:00

As stolen from Sofa Chip.

Choose 10 characters (preferably from the same fandom) and answer the questions that follow. No peeking until your list is done!

1. Nick Andopolis (Freaks and Geeks)
2. Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars)
3. Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)
4. Xander Harris (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
5. Daniel Osbourne (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
6. River Tam (Firefly)
7. John Dorian (Scrubs)
8. GOB Bluth (Arrested Development)
9. Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
10. Jim Halpert (The Office)

1. Characters 4, 9 and 10 are at an arcade. What game do they choose to play, and who wins?
Street Fighter 2. Since all the characters are essentially goofballs, I imagine a lot of smack-talking and non-competitiveness. Xander would win just cause he's the biggest geek but Dean would put up a good fight cause he's a manly man!

2. Make up an e-mail address for 6.
crazy@maybenot.com

3. If 8 had an iPod or some kind of music player, what kinds of songs would you find in it?
Europe - The Final Countdown!! Lots of Journey and stadium rock too.

4. What would you do if 9 suddenly paid you a visit?
Stare in awe at his prettiness then turn into a ball of mush. I'd go extremely red from blushing so much too. I wouldn't be able to say anything because my mind would be going, "Hubba hubba hubba."

5. Do you think 6 and 4 are made for each other?
Ha! One's an unstable genius and the other a lovable goofball. I really think River could kill Xander for being so inane.

6. 1 challenges 3 to a no-holds-barred duel. Who will win and how?
Lorelai Gilmore. She could speak circles around Nick and confuse the hell out of him. Nick may have the height and the build but Lorelai, especially a hyper-caffeinated one, will layeth the smack down if need be.

7. 7, 2 and 1 order a pizza. What toppings does each one request, and what do the others think of the choices?
Nick would order lots of cheese. Veronica lots of pepperoni and JD heaps of anchovies. Veronica would be loving Nick's cheese but disgusted at the anchovies on JD's. Both guys would love Veronica's choice though.

8. What subject would 1 teach if s/he were a teacher/professor?
He'd be a really terrible music teacher. Or the kind of PE teacher that every kid loves. He wouldn't ride people very hard and have a 'run, if you feel like it' attitude to class.

9. 5 and 10 go on their first date. Where would they go, and what would they do?
They're both dudes and very straight so I'm going to consider this question null.

10. 8 sings karaoke and dedicates a song to 7. What song would s/he dedicate and why?
Europe's 'The Final Countdown'. It's the first song that comes to mind whenever I think of GOB. But I guess realistically, he'd probably makeup a song along the lines of 'Brosephs for life'.

11. How would 8 court 6?
By stalking her. River will hate every single second of GOB lavishing her with attention.

12. Describe the relationship between 2 and 8 in the canon. Would you change it? Why?
Yikes. I guess I understand now why the rules same fandom.

13. In your list, who do you think is the perfect match for 3 and why?
Xander Harris. Something about his goofiness would complement hers and whenever she gets too stressed out, he'd be able to calm her down with his lame jokes that she will most certainly laugh at.

14. 2 has a dream where 10 tells him/her to save 1, who is facing certain doom. What would 2 do?
So Jim would tell Veronica to save Nick? Veronica would probably save Nick. She's a do-gooder deep down, and in this scenario I'm actually imagining them dating.

15. 9 and 6 are about to get married, until 3 crashes their wedding and abducts 9 against his/her will. 6 follows them, but must forge an uneasy alliance with his/her archrival, 1. They must then hijack some form of transportation from 8 in order to get to 3’s lair, where they must fight against 3’s evil zombified minions. What will happen next?
To make this clear; Dean is going to marry River, get abducted by Lorelai and River will forge an alliance with Nick. River will naturally kick all the zombie's asses while Nick cowers in the corner. However there won't be a happy ending for River and Dean because Dean would have realized his affection for Lorelai, which she naturally reciprocates. Them two will ride off into the sunset. Meanwhile, River spurned from Dean's betrayal will channel her frustrations into martial arts and become a champion martial artist. Nick will die three years later still cowering in that corner.

16. 8 receives a gift from 9. Does s/he open it or not? If so, what is inside?
GOB will definitely open Dean's gift. Inside would be a switchblade which GOB will scoff at and throw into the sea ("return from whence you came!)

17. 4 is walking home when s/he sees a cute fluffy creature, which promptly begins rubbing itself against his/her legs. Will s/he kick it away, or take it home?
Yeah, Xander would take it home and name it Captain Spankypants regardless of its gender.

18. 8 is dared by 4 to strip while pole-dancing in front of 7. Write a short dialogue about this.
GOB, Xander and JD? Hee..

GOB: Do you understand how attractive dancing on the pole can be now, JD?
JD [hysterically]: My eyes! My eyes! They burnnnn!
Xander [giggling]: Dude, you gotta strip! Let's make that little piggy squeal even more!
JD [hysterically]: Turk, save meeeee!
Xander: Strip! Strip! Strip!
GOB [sleazily]: You asked for skin, now you've got it.
GOB proceeds to pull off his velcro-ed stripper pants in a flash.

Ugh. Righting that was like writing really bad fan fiction.

19. What smiley/emoticon would best describe 5?
Actually, none. Oz is simply too stoic to warrant one.

20. If you had the chance to rewrite 1’s life, how would you change it?
He would realize that his flirtation with disco was completely retarded and go back to hanging with the guys. He'd also get back with Lindsay Weir and stay together till the end of high school.

Fighting in the Streets

2008-03-21T14:38:00.000+08:00

So news of a new live action Street Fighter movie has been shaking up the interwebs of old school fanboys and girls.

This new movie tentatively titled Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, will explore the background of Miss Hundred Rending Lightning Kick herself. Slated for a worldwide 2009 release, the new film will be headed by Kristin Kreuk of Smallville fame as said female protagonist. I'm going to assume that Kelly Hu, Maggie Q, Zhang ZiYi, hell even Brenda Song, were not available when casting agents came calling.

Or maybe the producers of this movie figured since the 1994 live action cult classic could justify a French-accented William F. Guile, the supposed most American of alpha males in America, they could get away with casting an actress who looks about as Asian as Carrot Top does normal.

In other Street Fighter related news, enjoy Jackie Chan in drag as Chun-Li:

Wikipedia tells me that this is from a film titled City Hunter. So LOL-tastic it'll have your mind imploding with the sheer awesomeness of the spectacle.

Finally, take a look at College Humor's Street Fighter: The Later Years series. It's a re-imagined take on the series 10 years after the 1994 film. Highly addictive and fairly good given the limitations.

Dear casting agents of the movie, if CH could find an actress who's Asian enough to fulfill the obvious requirement of the role but not too Asian to alienate the popular demographic, I'm sure you can too. Let's celebrate the 20th anniversary of the series by actually sticking closely to the source material.

Top 10 quotes from the classic 1994 action film:

10.Ken: This sucks! Those guys are good guys, like us!
Ryu: Lately, I don't feel very good.

9. Cammy: Cammy here, are you all right?
Colonel William F. Guile: I'm okay. I'm just half dead.
Cammy: And Bison?
Colonel William F. Guile: All dead.

8. [Ryu and Ken have been grabbed by the neck by Sagat during the ambush of Bison's party]
Victor Sagat: [raging] Are you with me, or against me?
Ken: [desperate] Uhh, is that multiple choice...?

7. Bison: I'm sorry. I don't remember any of it.
Chun Li: You don't remember?
Bison: For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.

6. Colonel William F. Guile: It's the Collection Agency, Bison. Your ass is six months over due, and it's mine.

5. Zangief: General Bison is a bad guy? If you know then why do you work for him?
Dee Jay: Because he paid me a freakin fortune, Man! If you know what's good for you you'll save your own ass!
Zangief: ...you got paid?

4. Dee Jay: Oh, Yes. My mama didn't raise no fool, baby.
[he sees someone coming]
Dee Jay: Oh man, I should have stayed at Microsoft.

3. Balrog: [Balrog and Honda are chained in prison. Balrog grabs his chain] Honda, give me a hand.
E. Honda: We've only been in prison two hours. Maybe next month.

2. Capt. Sawada: A single boat against everything he's got? The pilot would have to be out of his mind.
Colonel William F. Guile: Luckily, Bison has driven me crazy... so I'm going to do it.

And numero uno goes to ...

Colonel William F. Guile: Troopers! I have just received new orders. Our superiors say the war is cancelled, and we can all go home. Bison is getting paid off for his crimes, and our friends will have died here... will have died for nothing. But... we can all go home. Meanwhile, ideals like these - freedom, and justice - they get packed up. But... we can all go home. Well... I'm not going home. I'm gonna get on my boat, and I'm going up-river, and I'm going to kick that son-of-a-bitch Bison's ass so HARD... that the next Bison wanna-be is gonna feel it. Now who wants to go home... and who wants to go with ME!

Ranks right up there with Bill Pullman's Independence Day speech for pure inspiration.

Movie Reviews: They

2008-03-13T17:49:00.000+08:00

It's been an on-going obsession of mine to hunt down a really good Western horror movie. You'd think it'd be a pretty easy task considering the large quantity of films Hollywood churn out per year. However when you take away films that are true-gore masquerading under the horror genre (Saw, Audition, every Eli Roth movie), the Asian remakes (The Grudge, The Eye, The Ring), the old '80s film remakes (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, every George Romero remake), the video game remakes (Resident Evil, Doom, House of the Dead) and films by Uwe Boll, the pie chart gets a lot smaller. And let's not even consider the abomination to the genre that are the films which pitch two classic horror icons against each other.

Horror, as it is, is such a loosely defined term. What makes one person scream in terror, is another's idea of comedy (re: Uwe Boll). To me, good horror is atmospheric. It gets under your skin and makes you doubt what you think you know. Those irrational fears as a child that you've long forgotten comes back to the surface and you wonder, just maybe, there might be something to it there. It could be something simple as darkness, aliens or zombies. Urban legends is a good one, but Urban Legend 2: The Final Cut (2000) wasted away the opportunity. A good horror movie subverts all the modern cliches that have become attached to the notion of horror. Yeah, we know the amped up music indicates the looming death of a peripheral character, but how will it be different from all the others is what will set a good and bad horror movie apart.

Which brings me to They. Plot wise, it's been done to death; what haunted a bunch of children when they were younger, has returned to claim them later. As per your standard text book horror film, the cast is attractive and the dialogue leaves nothing to the imagination. What makes this stand out, apart from the fact that I had watched it following Pulse and frankly, anything after that cinematic piss-pile of IQ-diminishing junk would be Oscar worthy, is the fantastic tension that runs throughout the film. I mentioned atmosphere being the most important component in a horror film, and They delivers unequivocally on that front.

Having witnessed her best friend, Billy, shoot himself in his brain after mumbling erratically about night terrors and things that go bump in the night, Julia (Laura Regan) begins to find that the night terrors she suffered as a child has returned. The running theme of reality versus paranoid delusions is executed quite perfectly to a T. The decision to write Julia as a student psychologist makes her hyper-awareness an interesting aspect little seen in other horror movies I've seen. In one scene where she speaks to her psychologist, having her self-examine her own case lays out quite explicitly what we've all thought about in times when we thought we saw something at the corner of our eyes.

Just before he offs himself, Billy tells Julia to run when the lights go out, darkness being their main source of existing. Actually that's another brilliant point from the film. 'They' are never quite shown. Basic understanding of psychology tells us that humans are afraid of what they don't know, things they can't see. Cloverfield, for the most part, was a pretty interesting film, right until the actual monster was shown in all his fidgety-camera glory. For the film to never explicitly reveal the true faces of the 'they' heightens the tension; best encapsulated in the climax where Julia is fending them off in a subway tunnel. To get back to the original point though, throughout the film, TV news report warn off rolling storms that affect the electrical output in the city. So when lights start flickering, like Julia, you're never quite sure if it's because of the storms or them exactly.

I read on IMDb that many found the ending pretty weak. They were unhappy with such a depressing conclusion and thought it cheapened the meaning of the film. On my Region 4 DVD, I found both the film ending and the alternative ending very satisfactory, one celebrated the visceral desolation that of reality while the other completed the theory of paranoid delusion vs reality that was hypothesized. Either way, the movie is certainly one of the better Western horror movie I've seen in ages.

And just because this post isn't long enough, let me throw in what I think are some worthy horror moments in modern film:

1. The opening sequence of Boogeyman. Watching it, I was so sure it'd be a pretty damn awesome flick. But 'tis not to be. The rest of the film rates up there with Pulse in the race for "Worst Horror Movie Ever, No Hyperbole, Seriously!"
2. Nightmare On Elm Street, Part 1.
3. The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock.
4. The opening sequence of 28 Weeks Later. The film isn't bad by any count, just lackluster to Danny Boyle's original.
5. Ju-On. Although this might have been indefinitely scarier because I watched it in the most run down movie theatre ever. We're talking the kind of place people go to die at in horror movies.
6. "They're hereeee."
7. The Exorcist, but not where it should matter. Personally I only shudder when Linda Blair goes for her very thorough medical examination. What can I say? I have issues regarding sticking foreign objects in bodies.

Last but not least, I'd just like to add that if anything should be learned from They is that horror movies don't need gore, sex and slash to make it good. Eli Roth, do take note!

TV talk: THE BEST NEWS I'VE HEARD ALL YEAR.

2007-11-01T16:39:00.001+08:00

Joss Whedon is coming back to TV!!!

And he's bringing Eliza Dushku with him!

I'm trying really hard not to express my enthusiasm through CAPS or exclamation marks. So you'll just have to trust me when I say I have a shit-eating grin on my face. It just can't stop!

via ONTD

Dead on Arrival: Veronica Mars

2007-10-27T03:47:00.000+08:00

Veronica Mars Season 4 Presentation:

Part 1

Part 2

via MerkieNL on YouTube.

It is my opinion that Rob Thomas fucked over every Veronica Mars fan with the abomination that was Season 3. Is that too harsh? Well, coming from a once rabid fan, I speak the truth sans hyperbole or any form of jest.

Season 1 of Veronica Mars was a sight to behold. All spunk, muted frames, and snarky voice overs, the series wasn't so much a mere TV show but a 22 hour sensory extravaganza. The direction was fantastic. The writing plastic-Tupperware-in-a-flood-leakproof tight. The characters were nuanced and alive with flaws, emotions and witticisms. Many media outlets heralded it as the best new show on TV. And that recognition was well deserved. Rob Thomas had created the best thing since sliced bread! Unfortunately very little people tuned in. Yet, it was given a second life in the form of a second season.

While Season 2 wasn't as pitch perfect as the first season was, the show still brought many surprises up its sleeve. There was less innovative colours and voice overs, but there was still plenty of heartbreak and loss. Veronica Mars graduated high school with a smirk and with very little fanfare, just as we knew she would. The audience didn't get any bigger, but their loyalty never waned. The economics of television however dictated that as good as a series was, it was nothing without a large audience. So, season 3 was brought onto the newly formed CW network and given a jumpstart.

"Let's make this easier for newcomers to watch! The loyal fans won't mind. They'll eat up anything we throw at them!"

That maxim seemed to be the mission statement for Season 3 of Veronica Mars. The series was stripped of it's usual season long arc. Instead it was pared down to 3 mini mysteries that would span 7 episodes each. Along the way, several characters were given total character assassinations and storyline continuity became a mere 'maybe' for the writers to address. Everything that I had come to love about Veronica Mars had been stripped and in its place aired a doppleganger that talked and acted like it but was not even close to the real thing. There was very little heart where there had once been plenty. Sarcasm became Veronica's main cachet of communication instead of her self-defence. "Obligatory psychotic jackass" Logan Echolls lost his spark and became Veronica's sometime left hand accessory. The delicious Veronica Mars voice overs had become but a distant memory, ditto the rich and vibrant colours.

Hence, I don't kid when I say Season 3 doesn't exist to me. It riles my blood thinking about how the mighty have fallen, being pandered away to the common denominator of television economics. So when talk of a season 4 set in the future floated around the Internet, to say I was 'not keen' would be a slight embellishment. Stop kicking the dead horse, and just put it out of it's misery already! Or so I thought.

Now, having seen the 20 minute feature presentation for a possible season 4, I'm more mad at Rob Thomas than I have ever been. You could put down season 3 to network meddling, but in my eyes, the blame lies with the creator. A TV network can only dictate so much change before the creator steps in and lay down the law. Rob Thomas got overly confident with VM, and because of that season 3 doesn't even qualify as chump change in the TV season of 2006.
Season 4, or at least what could have been, promised a lot of the spark and fire that season 2 had. In that 20 minutes, the wit was back and the excess baggage was gone. Everything that season 3 should have been was exhibited in that presentation. Thomas didn't lose his touch, he just merely hid it away and brought it out when desperate times called for it. So maybe it's a case of too little, too late, but VM Season 4?

Not worthy.

Nice try Rob Thomas, but your chance at redemption has long left the building.

TV talk: TV on the 'Net

2007-10-22T21:23:00.000+08:00

TV-links is under arrest from the Internet police!

Read the whole story here: TV-links.co.uk raided, Owner arrested.

As someone who used to frequent that site regularly, this is terrible, terrible news. They had the best and most updated links as well as the least eye-scarring layout to navigate. Sure, there may be other sites that catalogue links, but none do it as good as TV-Links did.

Old media is barely coping with the explosion of opportunities that new media has to offer. TV networks in the States have tried offering up a slice of the pie to users by putting up episodes on their site but the fact that their content is bounded by geography (only available to US) makes the offering rather ineffectual. Global digital copyrights management is sadly lacking and this case is a perfect example of the majority of problems:

1. TV-links did not host any of their material. They merely catalogued links that were hosted by Google, YouTube, stage6.divx.com and the like. If the authorities really wanted to attack the problem, why didn't they take down the hosts? Is it easier attacking the little people than the actual monoliths, like say, Google?

2. TV-Links may have been a UK hosted web site but the actual servers were from the Netherlands. Taking into account the fact that there is no single international Internet copyright law, who do you fault here? The Pirate Bay, a BitTorrent site, have chronicled some of their legal issues here. According to them, they are protected by the laws of Netherlands which are pretty relaxed about the digital revolution. Which leads me to my next point.

3. Geographical lines prohibits/inhibits the Internet from doing specific things. The Chasers War on Everything is free for download on ABC but only in Australia. As is The Office on NBC America. And promotional material for cable networks like Showtime or HBO. As great as the idea was, the implementation leaves a lot to be desired. It is much easier to download a show from any BitTorent site or watch it online because there is no geographical discrimination there.

4. The authorities will probably come up with some way to attack torrents in the near future, as they have Kazaa, Limewire and other downloading programs. With technology on the rise, there will always be some way to avert the Internet police. Uploading/sharing sites like Mega Upload that allows up to 500 MB of data to be shared will probably be the next frontier if torrents get taken down. What we need is a strict constitution that clearly states what is and isn't okay in terms of sharing information on the Internet. Next thing you know, some kid who posted a link on her blog about some music video from YouTube is going to get sued. Grrr-eat.

Anyone who has ever watched a clip of a show or program of YouTube should be concerned. Damn the man! Save the empire! Sign the petition to free the owner of TV-Links!

TV talk: Top 100 Shows of the Fall '07 Season

2007-10-19T03:27:00.000+08:00

Of which these are the shows I watch:

#14. Heroes
#24. Pushing Daisies
#30. Ugly Betty
#38. The Office
#51. How I Met Your Mother
#91. Supernatural
#93. Gossip Girl

And these are the shows I watched last season but neglected this season:

#21. Brothers and Sisters
#46. My Name is Earl
#82. America's Next Top Model

These were the other shows I wanted to watch and might get around to watching during the hiatus:

#49. Chuck
#50. Journeyman
#56. Moonlight
#90. Reaper
#96. Aliens in America

Finally, the shows I can't believe are still on and actually thriving:

#1. CSI
#9. CSI: Miami (for fuck's sake..)
#12. Survivor
#17. TWO AND A HALF MEN
#19. CSI: NY (Karen has a brain aneurysm and dies at this point)
#70. American Dad
#83. Smallville

The full list is available here with the actual statistics and numbers.

To number #4 (Desperate Housewives): Fuck you very much for casting the very watchable* Nathan Fillion in an unwatchable show. You almost got me there but sanity prevailed in the end.

*watchable, edible = what's the diff?

p/s: Is it still cool to use the phrase "What's the diff?"
pp/s: Was it ever cool??

TV talk: Want/Need/Have

2007-10-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

In what will be the prelude to... I want to say a week, but really it's entirely dependent on how lazy I am, so I'm going to go with ... a whole bunch of (very belated) posts about the US Fall '07 TV season, I am going to get the proverbial ball rolling by distinguishing shows by the want/need/have factor.

Want
These are the shows that keep me genuinely interested and are generally interesting. They don't have to be particularly high-brow or meaty, but there must be a sense of involvement wherein it warrants a timely download/weekly watching.
Past contenders: Carnivale, Heroes Season 1, The Office (US), Ugly Betty

Need
We're talking deep-seated passion, to the point where much time is wasted obsessively scouring TV websites for recaps, reviews and trivia. It's both a pleasure and a curse to come across such a rare gem in the wasteland that is network TV. Fans of Need TV have been known to annoy people with their (often unwanted) opinions and tiresome fan-wanking.
Past contenders: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Veronica Mars (but not the atrocity that was Season 3), The Office (UK)

Have
Have TV are the shows that you hang on to but don't know why. They're not particularly great or engaging. They might be amusing but not funny (My Name is Earl), they might have been great once but are slowly losing the plot (Scrubs) or people might just keep tuning in to find out what the hell is up with the damn polar bear (Lost). It's tuning in because you have nothing else to do and don't mind watching it while you wait for The Office (US) to come on. Or watching because you have invested too much time and energy to give up on it now. Basically, it's watching because you have to, not because you particularly want to.
Past contenders: as stated above.

One of the pitfalls of being a US TV addict stuck in the bottom hemisphere of Australia is the obvious transgression in viewing pleasure. What I lack in being inundated with ads, I make up for in download waiting time. Thanks to a dodgy connection, sometimes the waiting time can truely be unbearable. Thankfully, the networks in Australia have decided to fast-track several programs, Supernatural and Heroes, to name those I'm interested in. While it means being a week or three behind the US, it also allows my laptop to be switched off from time to time. After all, leaving your notebook on for two weeks without rest cannot be particularly good for the system.

And so we begin...

Versus: Ashlee Simpson & Avril Lavigne

2007-08-27T01:25:00.000+08:00

Ashlee Simpson - she of the bad haircut, nosejob and coattails of Jessica.
Avril Lavigne - abuser of ties and eyeliner. So punk rawk.

Vocals
Ashlee - If it wasn't glaringly obvious enough, the Superbowl lip-syncing disaster exposed Ashlee's talents for what they are; ie. non-existent. Utilizing synthesizers heavily to distract from the less than savoury vocals, Ashlee has made 'sing-thesizing' into an art form. She can't hit the high notes right, veering closely to screeching and screaming in the chorus of 'Shadow'. Hell, if she had to rely on a back-up track just to get the low notes right, you know it's a long time coming before she's breaking any records at vocal prowess.

Avril - Apparently started singing at church since young. Did that help? Well, apparently not much. In her past albums, she's proven to be just a tad better than Ashless at this singing gig, which isn't saying a lot. I suspect that somewhere somehow Avril is living a second life. Her contribution to the Eragon soundtrack, seemed to promise a more mature sophomore album. For all it's power ballad-y instances in 'Keep Holding On', Avril mostly managed to tack on the power in her warbles. Then 'Girlfriend' was released. Right.

Ashlee = 0, Avril = 1

Music
To look at it superficially, Ashlee and Avril's music deviate slightly in such that the former is more rock and the latter, more punk. Essentially, both pop stars are just that; pop. So drawing a difference between the two is a lot like drawing a line in sand during high tide. Nonetheless, Ashlee's back up band uses arguably more bass and riffs ('Boyfriend'). I mean, they would have to make up for the lack in vocals in some way after all. Avril on the other hand, keeps the verses and rhythm punchy ("He was a boy/She was a girl"). Of course the hardcore punks are cursing plagues at Lavigne's house for her blasphemous 'tude. But at the very least kids below 4'9'' will be exposed to punk, or punk-reminiscent music to be more exact, without the sex and drugs that usually come attached with that genre of music.

Ashlee = 1, Avril = 0

Image
Ashlee - At the start of the career, to step out of her sister's shadow, Ashlee died her blonde hair black and assumed a rock persona. She was the chocolate chunks to Jessica's white vanilla in the Simpson gene pool, or so it seemed. For the most part she did successfully carve out a career separate from her sister's. And then she went blonde. And fixed her nose. And became the spokesperson for Skechers. And all of a sudden she's looking like a less-tan, less-chesty version of Jessica Simpson. One Jessica Simpson in the world more than fills our vapid bimbo pop star quota. Do we really need another bland blonde robot? Interesting to note that Ashlee's original hair colour is blonde. Ashlee is also currently dating Pete Wentz, abuser of camera phone and bassist/song-writer for Fall Out Boy. Do you think they maybe pool money and bulk buy eye-liner? Cause that stuff ain't exactly cheap. Especially if you get the waterproof ones.

Avril - After showing the pre-teens that girls can wear neck ties too, Avril continued her trend of baggy pants and white wife-beater for a while. It was so rawking, the fashion world collectively fell into a boredom-induced coma. Then at some point she dis-owned her tie trend and put away the hair straightener. She took the pink out of her hair and started dressing up. Voila, one awesome model under the facade at your service! What she lacks for in vocals and personality, she makes up for in bone structure. That girl puts Derek Zoolander out of business, I tell ya.

Of course, come 'The Best Damn Thing', the straightener, pink and punk rawk is back with a vengence. Regressing to familiar territory may be great for album sales but awful for a bystander.

Ashlee = 0, Avril - 1-0 = 0

Personality
Ashlee - Blaming the band and "acid reflux" for your mistake just isn't cool. However, Ashlee's music videoclips earns her back whatever points she lost for flubbing responsibility. Have you seen that girl dance? For someone who apparently did ballet when she was younger, the girl has the grace of an elephant on rollerskates. No really, it's like she's having random seizure attacks.

And because I myself am one with the spazzy dancing, I can't hate on Ashlee for that.

Avril - Yeah, we get it. You're bad to the bone. We saw it in your music videos, we saw it in your interviews and the paparazzi saw it first hand when you spit at them. Yawn. Next!

Ashlee = 1, Avril = 0

Final tally
Ashlee = 2, Avril = 1
Ashlee Simspon slips in to win the battle of the can't-sing-"bad-ass" rawk princess. The world continues to turn on it's axis.

Movie review: Stardust

2007-08-23T04:45:00.000+08:00

Having waited with bated breath for the Stardust to open in Australian cinemas (September 20), scoring tickets for a special premiere a whole month earlier would what the UrbanDictionary define as "sweet". To have Charlie Cox, breakout star of said movie, introduce the movie and regale us with random bits of trivia is just the perennial icing on the already very sweet cake. That the movie completely fulfils my every expectation and pulls out some unexpected surprises as well? Consider me a diabetic after the whole experience.

I feel that I must pre-face the review with this note; For those not in the know, Stardust is an adaptation of cult-fantasy-author Neil Gaiman's book off the same name. Neil Gaiman... that name itself explains more than I'll be able to in summing up the story.

The movie follows the quest of Tristran (played by Cox) who hunts down a fallen star in order to procure the hand of his lady love, Victoria (Sienna Miller). The fallen star takes the shape of a woman (Claire Danes) upon crashing onto the ground. Unbeknownst to Tristran, the star is also hunted by a witch (Michelle Pheiffer) who wants it for eternal youth and a king (Rupert Everett) who cannot take the throne without it. Of course thanks to the mind of Neil Gaiman, the story isn't quite cut and dry. Woven into the plot are pirates, magical kingdoms, ghosts, and unicorns. According to Wikipedia, Matthew Vaughn pitched the film as "The Princess Bride meets The Pirates of the Carribean." While I do not necessarily agree with the pitch, I can certainly see that the intricate balance of humour, action, and love found in these three films are what the critics will refer to in drawing comparisons.

I was very excited to see what Matthew Vaughn would do in only his second take at directing after Layer Cake (which impressed me so), and I must say that all in all, Vaughn did a fantastic job. Telling a story that is so detailed and encompassing isn't one for the weak-skilled. Initial choppy editing at the beginning of the film aside, Vaughn's vision and strength progressed to culminate into a killer climax. Many times during the film, I sat on the edge of the seat, trying hard not to yell words of support to the screen. It seems silly but I am definitely one of those who gets caught up in the moment. It certainly helped that all the players brought everything they had to the table.

Charlie Cox and Claire Danes are without doubt the stand-outs in the cast. Cox, who I had never seen perform before, blew me away. Tristran was the quintessential hero, growing from an adorable boy to a respected man (still adorable, but with better hair) as his storyline progressed. Brimming with charm and a certain innocent naiveté, Cox will definitely be one to watch in the future. Even Vanity Fair is sitting up and taking notice. Danes, on the other hand, I had often took as a one hit wonder - less then stellar career post-My So-Called Life. I was initially upset with her taking the role that Sarah Michelle Gellar turned down, because regardless of SMG's questionable career post-Buffy, I knew she had the chops to pull it off. I have never been more glad to be proven wrong! Danes was elegance and ethereal beauty personified in Yvaine, the fallen star. Her delivery in the monologue regarding love just made me stare wide-eyed, all goofy-grinned because of its sheer impact and brilliance. Who knew she had it in her? I guess I do now.

Unfortunately, films from the sci-fi/fantasy genre (that is not made from George Lucas) has a tradition of doing poorly in cinemas. Stardust opened at number four in the American box-office in its opening week. Hopefully it'll continue to stay strong and strong word-of-mouth will cause the public to flock to watch it. Nonetheless, what it lacks in box office sales will definitely be made up for when the DVD hits. Don't be one of those lagging dopes only catching it when the DVD drops!

Verdict: In 21 words or less...
A future classic! There'll be a whole new generation of kids who will grow up on Stardust.

Trivia according to Charlie Cox:
The scene where Robert De Niro's pirate meets Ricky Gervais' bootleg seller is mostly ad-libbed. The actors had to turn their heads away from the camera to cover their laughter.