For Your Consideration: 5 Hollywood Pairings Who Should Be Together in Real Life

On the back of watching Love and Other Drugs yesterday night, I came to a conclusion. I did not love the movie; no, it was rather like dealing with an Alzheimer's patient - during its lucid moments, it was witty, clever and playful, a joy to watch as the plot and character unraveled. But then the sickness would flip and the bad moments would start - the trite dialogue and the tired rom-com formulaic shtick, leaving you with your shaking head in your hands thinking, "this isn't what I signed up for". Anyway, this entire analogy, which I thought was rather apt, given the storyline of the film and the emphasis on sickness and drugs (but hey, nobody likes the self-fellating asshole) brings me to my point. I cannot love the movie, but that probably won't stop me from re-watching it further down the line, on TV, download or wherever else it might be played.

Love and Other Drugs; Come for the hot nekkid Hathaway and Gyllenhaal, stay for (not) exactly that

Because for all it's missteps and trying bits, Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway are brilliant to watch in Love and Other Drugs. It's more than just good acting skills. The two share a tangible chemistry that pulsates off the screen and worms its way into the blackest of hearts to make you want to believe that if all was good and perfect in this world, the two actors would actually be together in real life. The media circus the two have been on promoting the show have only seem to reinforce this belief so it's a bitter pill to take that Hathaway is dating some guy named Adam Schulman and Gyllenhaal, Taylor McSquinty. But hey, a girl can hope, right? (Plus, if all else fails, I'm sure there's always creep-tastic fanfiction to fall back upon). So on the back of Valentine's Day, here are other Hollywood pairings in recent history I wish were really madly in love with each other in reality.

5. James Franco and Anne Hathaway, Hosts of the 2011 Academy Awards



4. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine



3. John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer, The Office



2. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, (500) Days of Summer


1. Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights



As an added bonus, here be fictional couples who did cross the reel/real boundary and were perfect together in the whirlwind streak of romance that much like a comet's run, simply could not last. R.I.P fictional-turned-real-lovers. My heart mourns for the love lost.

my face, effectively, when pondering on these ex-couples

3. Michael Vartan and Jennifer Garner, Alias



2. Ryan Philippe and Reese Witherspoon, Cruel Intentions



1. Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, The Notebook (I've still not completely recovered)


And since Tumblr is the new dumpsite of the Internet where the wild and wacky subsist, here's Fuck Yeah, Real Life Pairings for extra couply, totally non-stalkery [sarcasm font] goodness!

Dead On Arrival: The Beautiful Life

Regardless of whatever minuscule sense of forced enthusiasm I may have had upon first hearing about the show, The Beautiful Life had some promise. It was bad, no doubts about that. On a scale of nastiness, I think it equates to two day old pizza; close to putridity but not totally impossible to fill up on.

Mischa Barton has my empathy when we're talking about whatever personal issues she may be facing but god does she need a 4 year degree + masters at whatever school of acting. I couldn't decide which was worse, the lines shifted from awkward to corny in nanoseconds. But possibly worse were the jerky camera shots that panned at inopportune moments and seemed to be handled by a 5 year old in an epileptic fit.

But. And I suppose a lot of people might disagree with this but the premise was quite interesting. The modeling world as a whole comes across as pretty superficial and despite what was said in Bruno, I find modeling to be a hard job - cracking that market is close to impossible. For every Elle Macpherson is a thousand other wannabe models left in the pages of mail-order catalogs or relegated to a 15 minute role in any one of the Top Model franchises or worse. And I know that the title refers to 'the beautiful people', a term commonly attached to models but do you have to make the non-models so friggin' unattractive?



We get it. We really do.

The set up actually seemed to pave to possibly complex; underage models who become the 'next big thing', the behind the scene drugs, the pay inequality between male and female models, models with dying careers, a spotted potential from the streets, a shamed model possibly past her prime. And all that was just in the premiere episode. Given the right treatment, it would have made quite a good look into the industry and possibly shed some light on what it's like behind the glitz and glamour of being a fashion model.

Given the limitations of network TV, I suppose whatever shown would have been a sanitized version far from the actual truth anyway. But it's too bad we won't ever be able to find out and make a valid judgment.


Given my mixed feelings about the show, I will confess that I'm quite gutted by the axing of the show.







Goodbye, Chris Andrews, you Matt Saracen type of hunky country folk. I solemnly promise to keep a look out for you in other stuff, Benjamin Hollingsworth.

If there's anything to take away from this show is this: I was so right about the eerie Sara Paxton/Mischa Barton resemblance! I first noticed the resemblance in The Last House on the Left remake where I spent my face hiding in my hands at the squeamish bits while marveling over the almost doppelganger-ness of the two.





They both share a round face, light blue eyes and the chin-butt dimple, no?



Okay, maybe Mischa doesn't have the dimple but I swear watching them in The Beautiful Life is so trippy cause after that eureka realization, I always figured they'd eventually be cast as sisters or family. Turns out rival models will do for the CW.

Legendary TV: The Office (UK)

I initially intended to do a 'Versus' post between the UK and US editions of The Office. But truth of the matter is I like them separately and it would be unfair to compare the two seeing as right now, all they seem to share is the premise of 'zany things happen at the office'. And even that single truth doesn't always hold true in the case of The Office (US). So in a series of posts updated very sporadically, but really quite possibly never again, I will dissect my favourite television series(es) of all time. For the interest of this one YouTube video that I want to share, I'll start with The Office (UK). Mild spoilers ahead, mind you.

No matter what shit pile movie Ricky Gervais ends up in, odds are, I have an obligation to watch. This is after all one half of the duo who produced one of the best comedies on TV of all time. This is mothereffin' David Brent we're talking about.

- quite possibly one of the most genuine asshats portrayed on TV ever.

If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain - do you know which philosopher said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.

- singer of Freelove Freeway - a tune that I occasionally find myself humming out of nowhere.



- ruiner of Simply Red's 'If You Don't Love Me By Now'. Frankly everytime this song comes on I just end up in giggles.



- and it has to be mentioned, the charity dance. Such bizarre choreography and body spasms has yet to be recreated anywhere else and at such a magnitude of epicness.



But The Office was more than the exploits of one unstoppable boss. It was a solid team effort through and through. The cast comprising of office suck-up, Gareth, lovelorn salesman Tim, his object of affection, engaged secretary Dawn were the precious notes that added to the beautiful orchestra that was the show. Steven Merchant (Oggy, Oggy, Oggy!) and Ricky Gervais wrote a script that brilliantly captured the inanity of working life.

David Brent: Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.

Tim: The people you work with are people you were just thrown together with. I mean, you don't know them, it wasn't your choice. And yet you spend more time with them than you do your friends or your family. But probably all you have in common is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet for eight hours a day.

David Brent: You just have to accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

There was such incredible amounts of heart in this film, especially in the way the Tim and Dawn romance panned out. Although their screen time together is limited to flirtatious banter and messing with Gareth, we intuitively know that they're just simply meant for each other. Dawn's fiance, Lee, never comes across as overtly terrible - he isn't quite simplistically Hollywood-bad for her.

Dawn (on how Lee proposed): He proposed on a Valentine's day, although he didn't do it face to face, he did it in one of the little Valentine bits in the paper. I think he had to pay for it by the word, because it just said 'Lee love Dawn, marriage?' which you know, I like, because it's not often you get to something that's both romantic and thrifty.

He does care for her in his own way but they just don't get each other. Not the way Tim and Dawn do. Especially given the slow-burning chemistry behind Tim and Dawn (Tawn? Dawm? Dim?). Theirs was never a quick-flash summer style romance. Instead it was a kindling fire, well tended to with the direction of Merchant and Gervais.

The funniest thing about Gareth Keenan is that I used to know a guy who was exactly just like him. Overly eager to impress, excruciatingly pedantic about all things unnecessary and unaware of his unpleasantness, Gareth, and the guy I knew, is a total headcase. Yet when played against the dullness of a paper office and filled with the normalcy of co-workers, Gareth became perfect comedic fuel. The Office (UK) applies the words of Arnold Beisser, to great effect.

"Tragedy and comedy are but two aspects of what is real, and whether we see the tragic or the humorous is a matter of perspective"

Wernham Hogg is a fucking tragic place to be at, more so if one has to spend eight hours there a day, five days in a week. But it's by highlighting the tragic that the comedy appears.

Tim: No I don't talk about my love life for a very good reason, and that reason is I don't have one. Which is very good news for the ladies-I am still available. I'm a heck of a catch, cos, er well look at it. I live in Slough, in a lovely house, with my parents. I have my own room, which I've had since yep, since I was born. That's seen a lot of action I tell you. Mainly dusting. I went to university for a year as well, before I dropped out, so I'm a quitter. So, er, form an orderly queue ladies.

And of course let's not forget the other office oddballs. Keith in particular, I'm very fond of. The drollness of this guy, who we know is a 'lifer' at Wernham Hogg, is just portrayed to utter perfection. As a whole, I think the entire cast performed far better than I could have comprehended. But for such a small role, Keith sure stole the limelight whenever he was near the fringes of the light.



When I first watched the Christmas special, I just about lost it in the last half hour. That was hands down one of the best series ending ever. To see such a well-loved show go out on a high, 'tis one of the most purest forms of joy TV can bring you. I shall forever be indebted to Steven Merchant (who I have been nursing a crush on since I first saw the series in '05) and Ricky Gervais for coming up this slice of perfection. As David Brent would say, I just want to be remembered "Simply, as, the man who put a smile on the face of all who he met." These guys, best writing partners ever by the way, have truly done that. Their podcast with Karl Pilkington and Extras has continued to give me the chuckles long after the dust of The Office has settled.

And the best part is; they're back for more!



I have been waiting to post this up since midday when I first read about it via ONTD and am willing to forgo sleep to share the news. Right now my nipples could glass. I am just that excited.

31/08/09: All 5 videos from ONTD available over here. <3 Stephen Merchant and Ricky Gervais

Squee(!!)-dom Town, party of one

Screw the G.I. Joes, Wolverines and Green Lanterns of the world, I want my 500 Days of Summer right here, right now!

Being in a country that mostly neglects the independent for the commercial hits, I am fairly sure that 'tis a no-no for the Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, Marc Webb-helmed flick of the honest-to-goodness trials and tribulations that being in love can bring, at least any time in the conceivable future. But since there was the curiosity of Rian Johnson's The Brothers Bloom being screened here, I hold out hope for the impossible. With the buzz that 500 Days and the solid earnings its been getting, who knows?

In the meanwhile, here's some adorable and I mean, truly adorable videos of the two to tide the want over:

As Sid and Nancy, of Sid and Nancy fame.

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-US&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;vid=5db01b36-af64-41f0-91b8-ef86e818f69b" target="_new" title="Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt Cinemash &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;Sid and Nancy&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Video: Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt Cinemash &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;Sid and Nancy&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;
via Cinemash

And them again starring in a video clip for one of my favourite She & Him songs, 'Why Do You Let Me Stay Here'. Your ovaries will flow, ladies. Floods of estrogen that only insane levels of Squee(!!)-ness can produce will engulf your frame. Gents, beware. A tear might even be shed over the realization of the unattainability of Miss Deschanel (this mostly means you, Nick).


via Pajiba (where else?)

You simply must yield to this cuteness overload.


Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey commands thee.

What's this?! A beat in my shriveled black heart?

For the most part, I abhor romantic comedies. I do not particularly enjoy sweetness and saccharine shoved down my orifices, thank you very much. Doubly so if it involves marriage. Never having been to a ceremony myself (my friends, this is a hint), I cannot say I understand just how taxing preparing for the day might be itself. If Hollywood and Bride Wars taught me anything, is that thereotically, a ceremony is hard work. Picking presents, showers, hen's and buck's night, the dress, bridesmaid, catering - it all adds up, and the fun, just simply isn't quite there anymore.

I've always figured that if I should get married, I'd do the right thing and elope. Why force your best friends into wearing dresses they don't particularly like or sit through hours long dinner just because they had the due misfortune of working with you? And well, when the divorce happens, I wouldn't need to face the embarrassment of all those too bad, so sad, but I totally called it! smug faces since everyone knows that's too be expected with quickie, unconventional marriages.

But this. CNN called out the irony of using Chris Brown's 'Forever', but you know what? Damn the man. It is a damn catchy song and while they could have probably used the old classics like Dean Martin's 'Love', well, it would have been that much more trite. Plus, you know that red head from 0:32 to 0:44 wouldn't have been able to bust out those sweet dance skills he's been frontin' since the MC Hammer Pants era had it been any other song.



I hope against hope that Jill and Kevin fall on the 'stay together' side of the 50%. It brings tears to the eyes and hope to the heart to see real magic on a day raped time and time again by the Hollywood machine.

Now, my only question is, when will this be incorporated into a movie? And even better, why didn't any writer think this up in the first place?

For Your Consideration: Magical Education

For the most part, the basic magic education that Harry, Ron and Hermione go through in Hogwarts consists of the following subjects:- Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, Potions and Herbology. Sure, there is a smattering of a few other subjects such as Care of Magical Creatures, Divinity, Arithmancy and so on.

Given this, wouldn't the logical conclusion be that Wizards and Witches from Hogwarts are unable to do Math??

I find this very disturbing. Since, it seems, wizards and witches only attend school beginning at age 11, it wouldn't be a stretch to suggest that they don't know simple algebra. Do they know how to compute something like 4 multiplied by 25? Say, if a customer comes into their shop and chooses to buy 5 Broomsticks or whatever at 85 galleons each, and receives 325 galleons from the customer, would the shopkeeper know that the customer is short by 100 galleons?

There doesn't seem to be a spell revealed just yet on how algebra and/or arithmetic is performed. Granted, there probably is not a real need for advanced stuff like Linear Algebra or Real Analysis, but some simple calculus might be worthwhile too. I mean, there are businesses in the wizarding world and businesses need some form of business model; most business models employ the use of calculus in their optimization process.

It boggles the mind, really. And sure, there are other really useful subjects that the magical world seems to forget. Languages, for example. Even basic Geography. I'd be surprised if a Wizard could point out where New Zealand is, assuming even basic general knowledge.

So, there you have it. Is the wizarding world really full of wizards and witches who, however powerful their wand work, are inept at even basic Mathematics? This really is a dark and difficult time.

The Movie Kakis Stamp of Epic Summer Movie Fail: Transformers 2

(guys we need a stamp.. of the Pedobear stamp of approval kind)

You know a movie is bad when you make killer robots idolized by young and old folk both far and wide, into naggy, whiny, and not to sound like a complete teenager but really lame androids devoid of personality or any instance of coolness. Okay, so there were some personality involved. But good heavens, have we not learned from the School of Me-sa Jar Jar Episode 1 Disaster? Racial stereotypes were never funny and will never be funny. If simple comedians with a twenty minute set list can't get away with racially biased jokes, how can a full length 2 hours and 20 minutes movie hope to?

Across the board, as Ad would put it, "big massive clubbed thumbs down" from all of us. For what it is worth, this is my summary, as demonstrated in Paint.



Since I'm a born optimist, I will say that the one good thing that came out from this show is that Nick, the token Y chromosome chapter of the group finally came around to recognizing Megan Fox's blatant unhotness:

"Dude, she's kinda plastic".

Never has there been sweeter words spoken in the face of abominable epic robot fail.